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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Is That A Guitar In Your Pants Or Are You Just Glad To See Me ?

A man who was about to leave an Arkansas music shop was stopped by the its owner after he spotted a guitar-shaped bulge in his clothing.

That sounds like a very painful condition.
According to AP, Clifton Lovell, the owner of Guitars and Cadillacs, said he confronted Morgan Conaster, who at first denied doing anything wrong. But Conatser then confessed to stuffing an electric guitar down his pants.

Lovell said the neck of the instrument was in 29-year-old Conatser's pant leg, while the body of the guitar was hidden under his jacket.

He said he didn't intend to call the police after he recovered the guitar, but then he discovered a wireless sound system was also missing.

The police then carried out a hunt for the man and found the stolen equipment in his bedroom closet. Conatser has been charged with misdemeanor theft.

Owner: Man Tried to Hide Guitar in Pants
"I saw him walking out to his pickup truck and the bulges in his leather jacket. I said, 'Hey what have you got there,'" Clifton Lovell said.

He said Conatser, 29, replied, "Nothing."

Lovell pointed toward the unnatural shapes in Conatser's jacket and pants and said, "You've got something."

Conatser then removed a solid body electric guitar from his pants leg and from underneath his jacket.

"The neck of the guitar was almost down to his knee and the back of the guitar was almost up to his neck. It wasn't hard to spot. There was no way he could sit down or get into the pickup," Lovell said.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Pesky Global Warming Causes Snow In Florida

Snowflakes, mixed with rain, fell in Orange, Lake, Seminole and Volusia counties Tuesday night, according to the National Weather Service. Snow shovels were not needed, but some of the white stuff did hit the ground before melting, meteorologists said.

You know what that means...

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Hair Cut

Click on the pic to enlarge.

Hat Tip: Fred

Hey ! Even A Dominatrix Has Standards !

"He wanted to go to a motel in the Bronx where I would defecate on him, but I told him I was uncomfortable going to the Bronx"

"I live in a traditional Italian household," she explained.

So traditional Italian households frown upon going to the Bronx but the other part is ok ? Huh. Never knew that about Italians.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Aliens Could Attack At Any Time !

Now Nick Pope (former Ministry of Defence UFO project) joins Paul Hellyer (former Canadian Defence Minister) in warning of pending invasion !

During his time as head of the Ministry of Defence UFO project, Nick Pope was persuaded into believing that other lifeforms may visit Earth and, more specifically, Britain. And he complains that the project he once ran is now "virtually closed" down, leaving the country "wide open" to aliens.

Mr Pope decided to speak out about his worries after resigning from his post at the Directorate of Defence Security at the MoD this week.

"The consequences of getting this one wrong could be huge," he said. And while Mr Pope says that there is no evidence of hostile intent, he insists it cannot be ruled out.

"There has got to be the potential for that and one is left with the uneasy feeling that if it turned out to be so, there is very little we could do about it," he said.

"If you believe these things are extra terrestrial craft then you cannot rule out that what is happening is some kind of covert reconnaissance."

In another incident in 1980 at RAF bases in Suffolk, staff investigated a suspected plane crash after bright lights were reported coming from nearby woods.

They found a kind of lunar landing module standing on three legs which then flew off. The indents it left in the ground were found to emit ten times the normal levels of radiation. Mr Pope said: "These sort of incidents are why I got so frustrated.

That sounds like an Interceptor !

See, as I reminded Paul last year, we have nothing to worry about.

Everyone knows we've had moonbases since 1980 under the command of SHADO (Supreme Headquarters Alien Defence Organisation) !

They have the SID in orbit (Space Intruder Detector) so we can detect when those aliens are, well, intruding !

They have plenty of Interceptors on hand to take out those pesky aliens !

Sure they only have one missle each, but they're really good shots !

If they get by the Interceptors, Sky One will get them !

Sky One is of course launched from sea by the Skydiver making it hard to detect !

And if they manage to get by them, the ever ready SHADO Mobile units are waiting for them on the ground !

Here's a documentary on how
SHADO keeps us safe from the alien menace.
(2.4 MB Quicktime)

No need to worry if they get by SHADO, the MIB have it well in hand.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

French Troops Almost Fired At Israel Jets

Then they remembered, "Oh right ! We're French !".

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Don't Get Fitted For A Burka Just Yet

I feel much better after listening to The Glenn and Helen Show.

Hat Tip: Instapundit

Beijing Issues 1 Dog Per Family Rule

Is that one dog per family per meal ?

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The Cliff

Our country just voted to take a step off of the precipice and into the abyss. Let's hope there's a ledge there to catch us. The terrorists won the election today. Watch for dancing in the streets in the Muslim world tomorrow. The Demoncrats won a great victory for Allah tonight. America has forgotten 911. God have mercy on us all.