Obama Declares The Calendar Will Start Over

Click on the pic to enlarge.

Presidential candidate Senator Barack Hussein Obama (D - Illinois) declared today that, "If elected, the event will be of such historic magnitude that the calendar should be changed in recognition of this momentous occasion. Instead of using the traditional and outdated B.C. and A.D. the new calendar will have B.O. and A.O. The significance of this change is self evident as in the time of B.O. everything stank and in the period of A.O. everyone will be required to say A.O. in an Ed McMahon manner which makes people smile without actually making anything better."

(Shrug)
I guess if Hugo Chavez can create his own time zone, why not let Barack Hussein Obama create his own calendar ?

Putin Apologizes For Lack Of Role In Yeltsin Death

Charges That Putin Fell Asleep At Desk With “Large Stack” Of Assassination Orders Unsigned.

Under Yeltsin, the Russian people threw off the yoke of soul- crushing Communist tyranny to embrace the bounty of soul- crushing materialist inflation. Abortion rates were thankfully unaffected.

From Point Five.

Bush: I'll Bring Troops Home On JetBlue

Under increased pressure to announce an exit strategy from Iraq, President George W. Bush revealed plans today to bring U.S. troops home on the budget airlines JetBlue.

Mr. Bush received praise for his decision to withdraw American troops, but his choice of JetBlue to transport them raised more than a few eyebrows.

According to most official estimates, with its recent spate of scheduling problems and flight delays, JetBlue could take up to seven years to bring U.S. troops home, and possibly ten years in the event of inclement weather.

But at a press conference at the White House today, the president argued that the selection of Jet Blue was "crucial" to the success of his latest exit strategy.

"Setting an exact timetable for a withdrawal from Iraq would be playing right into the enemy's hands," Mr. Bush said. "By going with JetBlue, our enemy will have no idea when we're leaving."

To emphasizes his point, Mr. Bush added, "And neither will we."

Across Iraq, U.S. GIs were hopeful that the news about JetBlue meant that they would be home by Christmas, or at least by Easter 2012.

At JetBlue headquarters in Forest Hills, New York, CEO David Neeleman said that it was "flattering" to be chosen to play such a critical role in President Bush's new exit strategy, but wondered if his embattled airlines has what it takes to bring troops home from Iraq.

"We're still having a hard time getting people home to Fort Myers," Mr. Neeleman said.

Elsewhere, Britain and Denmark announced that they were joining "The Coalition of the Leaving."

Found Over At: YubaNet

How To Solve Illegal Immigration ? Destroy Mexico !

Again Frank blesses us with his sage wisdom.


"We're not worthy !"

America Strikes Back At The Environment

President Bush has spoken to the nation from the rooftop of a flooded Seven Eleven in downtown New Orleans yesterday, vowing a swift and decisive response towards the environment. "We are up against ruthless weather systems that wish us harm," the President said. "But we are going to hunt them down and strike them at their bases. Make no mistake, and I want to be absolutely clear about it - this is not a war against all environment. We are not fighting animals and forest, just the weather."

Hat Tip: The Independent/NeoLibertarian Reader