My New Job! Who would've thunk it?! LOUIS A. DEVLUGT, SR. JAN 29

1. I apologize Hi, LYPers! First, I apologize for not posting for you all this morning as expected. I can explain! There’s been a lot going on in my life the past few days! I’m so busy that this post won’t be a long one. Allow me to elaborate! 2. Wow!! In case you’re wondering where I’ve been—let me update you! As the result of what some might consider serendipity (although I know better), here’s what happened: I was recently hired as the production manager for an upcoming movie! Although this will reduce the time I have to write for Living Your Purpose, I know that this opportunity has been given to me as a result of all of the sacrifices I’ve made and the spiritual work that I’ve done over the past few years. So, as a show of gratitude, I’ve taken this opportunity to jump into the world of film headfirst! I’m so excited! And of course, I’ll keep you posted! 3. What’s next? As I mentioned above, I’ll have less time to write for Living Your Purpose, however, this won’t be the end of our community. My new job will give me much more content to share with you all! And, even though I may not post as frequently due to my new responsibilities, I promise to work on publishing at least bi-weekly. I’ll update the Living Your Purpose About page as soon as I can. In the meantime, please stay tuned for more content coming soon! I promise that my next post will be just as thoughtful and valuable as my “Being a Dad” series! If you haven’t read those posts yet, please check them out below! Being a Dad: Part 1 of 2 LOUIS A. DEVLUGT, SR. · JAN 15 Being a Dad: Part 1 of 2 1. My teenage view on having children I don’t recall ever thinking I’d have children when I was a teenager. My childhood was quite challenging, and now that I think about it, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to risk bringing anyone else into the world to suffer as I did. You see, I was not taught a very traditional worldview by my parents. They painted th… Read full story Being a Dad: Part 2 of 2 LOUIS A. DEVLUGT, SR. · JAN 22 Being a Dad: Part 2 of 2 1. My first daughter, Nairobi At the age of 33, and after a brief separation, my first wife and I had our daughter Nairobi. I always get a verbal jab from my ex-wife for how I chose our daughter’s name. You see, as I mentioned, I’m an avid gamer. And, during the time that my ex-wife was pregnant with our first daughter, I was wholly engrossed in a video … Read full story 4. See you soon! Well—that’s it, for now, LYPers! As we move forward in our journey and quest for purposeful living, I thank you as always for your support! Thank you for committing to living your purpose! Living Your Purpose © 2024 Louis A. DeVlugt, Sr. Living Your Purpose Newsletter, PO Box 56 Trenton, NJ 08601-0051

Being a Dad: Part 2 of 2 My experiences and lessons LOUIS A. DEVLUGT, SR. JAN 22

1. My first daughter, Nairobi At the age of 33, and after a brief separation, my first wife and I had our daughter Nairobi. I always get a verbal jab from my ex-wife for how I chose our daughter’s name. You see, as I mentioned, I’m an avid gamer. And, during the time that my ex-wife was pregnant with our first daughter, I was wholly engrossed in a video game called Supreme Ruler 2020, which is a “sophisticated strategic and tactical military command” game. In Supreme Ruler 2020, I often played as the president of Kenya. I thought its capital city, Nairobi, had such a beautiful name! And, after looking up its meaning—“cool water”—I found that it conveyed an image to me of abundance, harmony with nature, and sustenance of life. The name grew on me, and—despite her pokes at how I came up with it—my first wife agreed with my choice. So, our daughter was named Nairobi! And I was pleased! My daughter Nairobi is an excellent artist, does well in school, and has a wonderful personality. 2. The divorce Unfortunately, by the time I was 34 years old, my ex-wife and I were divorced. I must say that I take the blame for all of the pain and suffering we experienced throughout our marriage. I was a piece of work! And, I must admit that I often feel guilty about leaving when Nairobi was at such a young age. I was self-medicating heavily with alcohol at the time. And, when I try to think back, I’m stymied by a fog of repression that I still do inner work to clear. My inner pain, which still heavily resided in me from my childhood, would not allow me to have healthy relationships. As a result, my first marriage was a casualty of my horrible state at that time. 3. My second son, Lyric Fresh out of my divorce, I rented a room from a longtime friend as I got back on my feet. While living there, I would often spend time with my brother who lived in a neighboring town. One night, I went with him to the grocery store and met the woman who would become the mother of my two younger children. I had my second son, Lyric, when I was 35 years old. I was producing music heavily at this time, hence his name. It was a difficult pregnancy, and I can recall many trips to the hospital because of the various complications throughout. It was a very trying time for me, as I was still dealing with the depression and anger that stemmed from my divorce. In addition to my troubles, I had to be somewhat of a caretaker to his mother during this pregnancy because of its difficulty and the strain it placed on her body. Lyric is an excellent dancer and overall entertainer. 4. Leaving the state job This is about the time that I left my job at the State of New Jersey. There, I had been pigeonholed by my supervisor and her superior for not having a college degree. And, as if that weren’t enough, I was training a transplant worker to replace me who did have a college degree, the irony of which I could not endure. I shortly after lost all interest in continuing my career at the state and left abruptly. In hindsight, I often wish I’d devised a proper exit strategy. 5. My second daughter, Leilani Leilani was born when I was 37 years old. I had a hard time with my first wife because Leilani was a potential name for my first daughter Nairobi. But, how could I let such a pretty name be wasted? Its origin is Hawaiian, meaning “heavenly flower” or “royal child.” Maybe I chose this name for her because I saw her birth as a gift from heaven. After all, she is the culmination of my having children. Leilani is a very talented singer and outgoing little girl who says what she means and means what she says. I sometimes think she is the one who will keep me in check more than all the others! 6. Lessons learned While I have had an often tumultuous experience as a father, it has expanded my awareness of the meaning of my life and taught me many indispensable lessons that I carry with me daily. Courage A friend of mine who is a new father gave me some a lesson he’s learned concerning courage. When the mother is pregnant, fears and doubts may creep into the back of your mind concerning your role in everything. In particular, being responsible for a new life and the contemplation of having to take the “back burner.” This new reality of utter responsibility and no longer being able to focus only on yourself can be daunting. And the lesson learned here is one of courage and faith in oneself. Support The disregard with which I was treated as a child concerning what dreams I may have had taught me to listen to my children’s visions for themselves. And it taught me to support those visions with all of my might. Few things convey to children how much they’re loved than a parent wholeheartedly supporting their dreams. Protection The protection instinct I felt for the first time when Louis Junior was born taught me my role as a father in ensuring the safety of my family. I am where the buck stops when it comes to their security. Bonding One of my nephews mentioned a lesson he’s learned as a father, and I found that I’ve learned the same thing. It is the lesson of building a bond with your children. While we must set boundaries with our children, it’s also very important for them to feel comfortable and close enough to us as parents to communicate openly with us. Building a bond with our children not only lasts a lifetime and has many benefits, but quite importantly is good for our children’s mental health. In other words, I have an “open-door policy” with my children. Teach good values Another one from my nephew is the lesson of teaching our children good values. Things like treating all people respectfully, being kind, contributing to society, and so forth, are things that will stay with our children for their entire lives. And it may make a difference in the decisions they make as they grow up. One of the most important values you can teach your children is that life is priceless. That’s another one from my nephew. By showing them this, their perspective on themselves, the world, and money will be from a position of authority and conscientiousness; not from one of egoism, consumerism, or materialism. 7. My proudest accomplishments My proudest accomplishments in life are my children. Being a father has shown me that, even though I had no idea what I was doing—and still am learning—the miracle of life happened through me. It showed me the power of creation, and how thinking of someone other than myself has transformed my heart. Without having become a father, I would be a much less developed man. I would be more selfish, materialistic, and shallow. Looking back, I now know that having children was critical to my spiritual development. I am grateful for the experience and the opportunity to be a father to my children! 8. Conclusion If you’re a father or know someone who may benefit from this post—and you enjoyed this brief and limited autobiography—I encourage you to stay tuned to this newsletter. One of the most valuable resources you can garner as you fill your familial role, or support someone in theirs, is your connection with other fathers. Here at Living Your Purpose, I aim to build a community of people—fathers included—who can support and learn from each other. You all play a vital role in this LYP community and make it a space of empowerment for each of us. I encourage you to get involved! This concludes my “Being a Dad” post. If you haven’t read “Part 1,” check it out below! And thank you so much for committing to living your purpose! Being a Dad: Part 1 of 2 LOUIS A. DEVLUGT, SR. · JAN 15 Being a Dad: Part 1 of 2 1. My teenage view on having children I don’t recall ever thinking I’d have children when I was a teenager. My childhood was quite challenging, and now that I think about it, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to risk bringing anyone else into the world to suffer as I did. You see, I was not taught a very traditional worldview by my parents. They painted th… Living Your Purpose. © 2024 Louis A. DeVlugt, Sr. Living Your Purpose Newsletter, PO Box 56 Trenton, NJ 08601-0051