These leopards are too fucking incompetent to eat anyone’s face

House Republicans can't get their impeachment shit together. that clownshoes fucktangle of low-wattage underachievers known as the House Republicans had a cunning plan. it went something like this: we’re going to impeach the living shit out of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas and then we’re going to coast to reelection because … ok, here I have to confess that the logic of this whole enterprise escapes me. I guess because “we impeached this guy you never heard of” looks good in a campaign ad? Upgrade to paid naturally, the whole dumb-ass plan blew up in their stupid faces — because of course it did. these are House Republicans we’re talking about. what did you expect, competence? here’s how this impeachment was supposed to go down: Holy Mike Johnson knew he didn’t have enough votes, but he also knew that Democratic Rep Al Green was going to be in the hospital for abdominal surgery on Tuesday, so that’s when Holy Mike scheduled the vote to take place. recognizing this for the supreme dick move that it was, Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries phoned up Green in the hospital and was all bro get your ass over here for this vote. I’ve called an Uber and Green was all no need, my man, I’m already on my way. I wouldn’t miss this shit for the world. no, seriously. Then, like a scene out of a political thriller, Representative Al Green, Democrat of Texas, appeared at the last moment to cast a surprise ballot — from a wheelchair, wearing blue hospital clothing and tan socks. He voted no. Mr. Green’s vote was decisive. It tied up the measure, 215 to 215, and handed a stunning defeat to Speaker Mike Johnson. Republicans were fucking pissed off and stamped their feet and said that somehow it wasn’t fair of the Democrats to have more votes. “they hid one of their members, waiting til the last minute, watching to see our votes, trying to throw us off on the numbers that we had.” it’s called politics, Marge, and it’s not the Democrats’ fault that you’re so fucking bad at it. with the failed impeachment out of the way, the House GOP got back to doing what it does best: blaming each other for their own incompetence. Congresswoman Sporkfoot accused the Rs who voted no of taking bribes. You know, I have no proof of that, but again, I can’t understand the vote. So, nothing surprises me in Washington, D.C. anymore, Charlie. Literally, nothing surprises me because—it doesn't make sense to anyone, right? Why would anyone vote no? Why would anyone protect Mayorkas unless they're being bribed, unless there's something going on, unless they're making a deal. geez, Marge, bribes? is that really the best the meth-ravaged hamsters wheeling around in your head could come up with? Florida transphobe Greg Steube pointed his finger at white supremacy’s middle manager, Steve Scalise — also in the hospital, for cancer treatment — for not being man enough to wheelchair his own self to the vote. Rep. Greg Steube went on Newsmax to point at a Republican absence—House Majority Leader Steve Scalise, who had the audacity to be out for cancer treatment. “If Scalise would have been here … the bill would have passed,” Steube said. how much of a disaster has Holy Mike Johnson been as Speaker of the House? this much: Republicans are now speaking openly of how much they wish that Kevin McCarthy was still around. “Getting rid of Speaker McCarthy has officially turned into an unmitigated disaster.” that’s right, Feckless Kevin McCarthy, the guy the Freedom Caucus hated so much that they turned him into a living chew toy and then ousted him from the Speakership, is starting to look a whole lot better. even Matt Gaetz, the inexplicably-unindicted sex pest who engineered the shitcanning of McCarthy, is having second thoughts. “I also wonder, wouldn’t it have been nice to still have Kevin McCarthy in the House of Representatives,” Gaetz said on Newsmax. “Never thought you'd hear me say that.” happier times I guess the Freedom Caucus will now be drunk-dialing Kev at two in the morning to whimper “I miss us.” it’s all so stupid. impeaching Mayorkas was supposed to be the Republicans’ consolation prize for being unable to find anything dirty to pin on Joe Biden, and they fucked it all to hell. they can’t impeach anyone, they can’t pass any bills — they can’t even name a fucking post office. someone remind me, what do you get when you elect clowns? oh, right: a circus. everyone is entitled to my own opinion is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. everyone is entitled to my own opinion © 2024 Jeff Tiedrich 548 Market Street PMB 72296, San Francisco, CA 94104

dipshit vigilante truckers reach the border, shocked to find there’s no immigrant invasion a bunch of easily-conned dopes got played

once again, the world’s most gullible imbeciles have been hoodwinked. after listening for months to yammering blowhards on Fox News and Newsmax telling them that brown-skinned commie hordes were streaming by the millions across Sleepy Brandon’s open borders and coming to their home towns to steal their jobs and get their sisters hooked on fentanyl, these credulous numb-nuts decided to it was time to get all pro-active and shit. we’re going down to the border, they announced, and we’re going to fuck these migrants up. they were going down to Eagle Pass in Texas, the site of Greg Abbott’s I AM THE LAW civil-war-cosplay hissy fit, and they were going take matters into their own hands and open up a fresh can of vigilante whup-ass on these swarthy border-crossers. I’ll drown these illegals with my own two hands if I have to! they promised that a convoy of 700,000 patriotic truckers would mass along Rio Grande and shut that open-border shit right the fuck down — but as with anything planned and executed by these morons, it was a craptastic clown-show. our good friend Anarchy Princess was on the scene for the start of the convoy, and did the math. “Guys, this is the fucking convoy. That’s it. Not a semi truck in site. 19 vehicles. Anything other images you are seeing of a large group of trucks is from 2022.” fun true fact: 19 is 699,981 fewer than 700,000. after picking up additional stragglers along the way, about fifty vehicles finally arrived at a parking lot outside of Houston — about 336 miles from Eagle Pass — where the convoy organizer had a bit of a surprise waiting for them. The convoy arrives and the organizer breaks the news to people that they actually aren't going to the border like they were told, instead they were going to a “children’s ranch” where they were going to “have prayer,” and exercise their first amendment rights by having a “redress of grievances against an out of control federal government.” He tells them that since God is in control, he can’t exactly tell them what it’s going to look like when they get down there. wait, what? who is this dipshit? what’s he telling us? that we’re not going to the border and we’re not going to drown us some illegals and instead we’re going to some stupid prayer meeting? no, fuck this shit and fuck it hard, declared the most-hard-core of the convoy, we’re going down to Eagle Pass and no god-bothering asshole is going to stop us. so off went a handful of the dumbest — and when they finally arrived at the Pass, they were shocked to discovered that there were more vigilantes than there were migrants. reporter: “tell me more about eye-opening. was it what you expected? is it better? is it worse?” dipshit: “it’s not what I expected, but then again I don’t know what I expected. I can tell you it’s not as bad as what I thought, so that’s kind of eye-opening.” but wait — you mean it wasn’t an open-border free-for-all? “I was able to see some people actually trying to cross and stopped at the wire there.” oh, huh. so no migrants actually got into the US. oh, gee. you fucking idiots. you easily-gulled dopes. you got grifted again. all you did was waste your time and give various fringe weirdos like Sarah Palin — nice boots, you irrelevant has-been — a chance for a desperate grab at a 16th minute of fame, screeching in front of a sign that boldly advertised events to take place on “February 3th.” speaking of has-beens, know who else showed up? good old Three Chord Nooge, delighting a crowd that numbered all the way into the tens. it was Ted’s biggest gig in years. mind you, this isn’t the first time MAGA “truckers” have beclowned themselves in front of the entire world. a couple of years ago, a convoy of trucker fucksticks headed to Washington DC to protest covid restrictions that had already been lifted (logic is not a MAGA strong suit). they planned on heading down to Capitol Hill for a show of force, but instead they got stuck in rush-hour traffic on the beltway, became dispirited, and went home. The May 2022 convoy ended up decamped to a parking lot in Hagerstown, MD, where QAnon disciples descended, RJK Jr.’s anti-Fauci books were given away (he couldn’t sell them), food was eaten, beer was drunk, songs were sung, arguments and fights ensued, guns appeared, and absolutely nothing was accomplished. They drove around in circles on the beltway, were cursed out by commuters for clogging up traffic, and then it finally fizzled out and dispersed. keep in mind that this entire border “crisis” has been manufactured by GOP leadership in order to give Agolf Shitler an issue — something besides “I don’t want to die in prison” — to campaign on. as I wrote two weeks ago, by the way, House and Senate Republicans could end their manufactured “border crisis” in a hot minute, if they wanted to. Biden has been for a long while now asking for more money for immigration judges and border security, but the congressional GOP refuses to pass the necessary legislation. why? because Republicans don’t want to fix the border — they want to whine about the border. they want to point at the border and say see? Sleepy Brandon wants illegals to steal your vote, or some such nonsense. it’s a cynical political ploy from the Party of Absolutely No Ideas. now that MAGA has seen first-hand that there is no mass invasion and that the borders aren’t actually open, will these idiots learn finally their lesson and stop getting played? no. absolutely fucking not. they’re going to let themselves get wound up all over again over the next pile of imaginary bullshit that gets shoveled in front of them — and once again, they’ll make clownshoe fools of themselves. rinse and repeat. because stupid doesn’t magically cure itself. everyone is entitled to my own opinion is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. everyone is entitled to my own opinion © 2024 Jeff Tiedrich 548 Market Street PMB 72296, San Francisco, CA 94104

this week in stupid: February 3 edition Sporky “indickts” it, Don Jr. inflicts it, and so much more ...

As another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at some of the highlights. sunday: new Biden scandal drops Biden has not addressed UFOs in 9 days. before Tommy “Fuck the Military” Tuberville was a failed senator, he was a failed football coach — and before he was a failed football coach, he was a failed football player. now, they don’t keep statistics for things like “number of times tackled in the head” but I’m guessing it was a lot. here’s T-Tubes on Newmax, making the case for … uh … Joe Biden bad man, maybe? your guess is as good as mine. “here in our country, the border … uh, Joe Biden … uh … criminally … uh … uh … possibly could be … uh, looking at a court case in the very near future, all that has taken the light off what’s going on here.” wut? Tommy, stay in your lane — you just keep fucking with our nation’s military readiness, that’s what you’re good at. tuesday: a septum is a terrible thing to waste nope, we couldn’t get through the week without an appearance by Cokey McSnortnostrils. here he is on Newsmax, higher than a fucking kite, apparently cranked up on what must be half the gross national product of Bolivia. “well you know uh uh uh it was interesting I saw it sort of starting like nine months ago he was appearing in my social feeds from people I don’t even follow but they were force feeding it down there because I think they were trying to create you know a cudgel to Trump.” holy shit, and that’s just the first ten seconds of a minute and a half clip. Junior, your dealer just called. he said to slow the fuck down, Bolivia’s running out of product. wednesday: hello ladies every dipshit thinks that they’re the good guy with the gun — even when they’re the incredibly fucking creepy guy with the gun. Indiana State Rep. Jim Lucas thought it would be a super-cool and not-at-all-terrifying thing to flash his gun in front of a group of teenage girls who were visiting Indiana’s Statehouse. hilarity did not ensue. Speaking to TheStatehouseFile.com after the incident, the students said Lucas’ action made them feel unsafe and unprotected. “My heart sank to my stomach,” Fivecoats said. “I genuinely felt very unsafe in that moment. And I really just wanted the conversation to kind of end after that.” guys, can we talk? I cannot stress this enough: don’t show your gun to teenage girls. don’t show anything to teenage girls. don’t even talk to them. leave them alone. walk away. but it seems that Rep. Lucas here is definitely not all about making wise life choices. This latest controversy comes less than a year after Lucas pleaded guilty to drunk driving. According to news reports, Lucas ran his pickup truck into guardrails and briefly drove the wrong way on an Interstate 65 entrance ramp. Lucas attempted to drive home but, down to just one working tire, the truck was not driveable. He was detained by police after he was found walking along the road. Police camera video from his arrest shows Lucas telling officers he has a gun in his waistband and that a round was in the chamber. drunk and armed. perfect. hey Donny Fuckface, we found just the guy to head the ATF in your next administration. thursday: so predictable, so indictable Congress’s own spork-footed wonder, Marjorie Taylor Greene, somehow manages to have fewer IQ points than she has toes. watch her struggle mightily to read aloud from text that was undoubtably prepared by her hapless staff. “this historical evidence is overwhelming that the founding fathers intended impeachment to be used to deal with the commission of in-dickt-a-ble crimes.” ohmyfuckingod. I mean, she does well enough at first, pointing at each word as she sounds them out, but when she gets to ‘indictable,’ her overtaxed synapses just give up. “in-dickt-a-ble” people of Georgia’s 14th district, why? is this really the best you can do, someone whose brain was grown from slime-mold cells in a peach tree dish? friday: bordering on insanity so there’s this thing called the Trucker’s Convoy. inspired by the bullshit that went on at our border with Canada a couple of years ago, the bright idea here is to gather 700,000 trucks along the southern border and create a kind of fucked-up gas-guzzling barrier to keep them South American commies out of the good old US of A. how’s it going? well, they’ve got fifty trucks so far — that’s fifty as in five-zero — so things are going just swimmingly. they’ve also got this woman. “I was a part of the convoy, from my house, for as long as I could, until I can get my truck fixed.” oops, make that 49 trucks. saturday: ? hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this. but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it. have a non-stupid weekend, everyone. everyone is entitled to my own opinion is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Upgrade to paid You're currently a free subscriber to everyone is entitled to my own opinion . For the full experience, upgrade your subscription. Upgrade to paid SHARE LIKE COMMENT RESTACK © 2024 Jeff Tiedrich 548 Market Street PMB 72296, San Francisco, CA 94104 Unsubscribe

holy shit, Taylor Swift has broken Donald Trump’s worm-infested brain Taylor Swift is everything Donald Trump is not.

Little Donny Fuckface has a lot on what’s left of his decaying mind. he’s in a world of shit. he’s already on the hook for close to 90 million dollars for defaming the woman he raped. he’s got four concurrent criminal trials going on. he’s fighting to remain on the ballot in Colorado and Maine, while additional states mull dropping him from theirs. his gold-digging third wife hates his guts. and we may find out as early as today just how many hundreds of millions Judge Engoron will order him to fork over for being a lifelong business fraud and tax cheat. which is why it’s super fucking satisfying to learn that he can still find the time to pitch a shit-fit about how a talented young woman who does actual good in this world is a thousand times more popular than he is. Upgrade to paid Last month, the source close to Trump adds, the ex-president commented to some confidants that it “obviously” made no sense that he was not named Time magazine’s 2023 Person of the Year — an honor that went to none other than Swift in December. Donald Trump is for the first time in his pampered life facing serious financial ruin and possible jail time, and Taylor Swift’s popularity is what eats away at him. Taylor Swift is everything that Donny Diaperstain is not, and it’s killing him. she’s young and healthy. Trump is a cheeseburger-gobbling nightmare who is one shard of arterial plaque away from shuffling off this mortal coil. Taylor Swift makes people feel good. Trump makes people hate. also, Donny, you could stand to take a few lessons from Taylor as to the artful application of makeup. she makes music that people enjoy. Trump has to resort to cheesy swindles and phony grifts to trick gullible rubes into parting with their money. Taylor Swift is a woman from a small town in Pennsylvania who became an actual billionaire. Donald Trump is the big-city nepo baby who was handed everything on a platter and turned his 400 million dollar inheritance into a billion dollar loss, and then went on to go broke running casinos. do you know how a colossal a fuckup you have to be to bankrupt a casino? it’s a place where people go to shovel cash into your pockets twenty-four hours a day. where did the money go, moron? Taylor Swift is a generous philanthropist. Donald Trump is such a cheap skinflint bastard that he buried his ex-wife at one of his golf motels so he could get a tax break — and then let weeds grow over the grave. Melania has so much to look forward to Taylor Swift got to be on a magazine cover. Donald Trump got to have a mugshot. boo fucking hoo. suck it up, buttercup. normal people don’t obsess over shit like this. normal people who aren’t profoundly broken inside simply get on with their lives. they don’t live by some fucked-up internal scale that measures attention, and go ape-shit if they’re not at the top of it. know what else normal people don’t do? make up weird conspiracy theories about a woman who is living rent-free in your head. Vivek Ramaswamy uncorked his most bizarre election conspiracy theory to date on Monday, suggesting that the NFL playoffs may be rigged in favor of the Kansas City Chiefs to give Taylor Swift more national air time ahead of an eventual endorsement of Joe Biden this fall. you’ve got to see it to believe it. “I wonder who’s going to win the Super Bowl next month. And I wonder if there’s a major presidential endorsement coming from an artificially culturally propped-up couple this fall. Just some wild speculation over here, let’s see how it ages over the next 8 months.” my god, the shrieking voices in Vivek’s head must have been working overtime to come up with this nonsense. remember when this guy was the Republican front-runner for about fifteen minutes, until people started actually listening to the batshittery coming out of his mouth — after which then it was bye fucking bye, Vivek! but hold on to your hats — it gets even loonier. Jesse Watters has a few bright ideas of his own: “have you ever wondered why or how she blew up like this? well, around four years ago, the Pentagon psychological operations unit floated turning Taylor Swift into an asset during a NATO meeting.” what the fuck? the who did what, where? I know what all those words mean by themselves, but when you put them together in that order, I have no fucking clue what you’re gibbering about. Jesse, are you ok? did you munch on the wrong kind of mushrooms? has Judge Jeanine been sharing her special box wine with you? Jack Posobiec, the pizzagate doofus, is another one of these brainiacs offering Swift free rent in his capacious skull. here’s Jack, speaking recently to a gathering of who gives a shit: “After expanding some more on his Taylor Swift op theory, Jack Posobiec adds: ‘We don’t have Taylor Swift on our side, but you know who we have? We have Kid Rock. We have Ted Nugent. We have influencers. We have all these people — Jon Voight.’” imagine bragging about having Kid Rock and Ted Nugent on your team. oh yeah, that’s a murderer’s row of talent right there. Kid Rock, who hasn’t been a kid or rocked since the Coolidge administration, and Three Chord Nooge, the self-proclaimed pedophile who literally shit his pants to avoid serving his country. oh, the google searches you end up doing in the name of journalism bring it on, dipshits. now let’s circle back to Donny Brainworms, because there’s one more thing about Taylor Swift that absolutely fucking terrifies him — as well it should: Trump loyalists working on or close to the former president’s campaign, longtime Trump allies in right-wing media, and an array of outside advisers to the ex-president have long taken it as a given that Swift will eventually endorse Biden (as she did in 2020). Indeed, several of these Republicans and conservative media figures have discussed the matter with Trump over the past few months, the sources say. Taylor Swift telling millions of her devoted fans to register to vote and pull the lever for Joe Biden? shoot that shit straight into my veins. everyone is entitled to my own opinion is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. everyone is entitled to my own opinion © 2024 Jeff Tiedrich 548 Market Street PMB 72296, San Francisco, CA 94104

Four SCOTUS Justices are totally cool with mangled children in razor wire booby traps.

Four SCOTUS Justices are totally cool with mangled children in razor wire booby traps. what the fuck the good news is that they were outvoted by the rest of the Court JEFF TIEDRICH JAN 23 bought-and-paid-for judicial hack Clarence Thomas sees no problem with mothers and their children drowning in the Rio Grande. ditto for his equally-corrupt compatriot Wytchfinder Alito. Beerheart Kavanaugh? same. Neil Gorsuch? apparently he hates migrants almost as much as he hates the fact that government exists. the good news is that they were outvoted by the rest of the Supremes, who ruled 5-4 to allow the Biden administration to remove Texas Governor Greg Abbott’s razor wire booby traps from our southern border. the bad news is that once again, four miscreant Justices bent themselves into rhetorical pretzels in order to vote on the side of Team Evil. Upgrade to paid our Constitution has this thing called the Supremacy Clause. calm the fuck down, racists, it’s not the kind of supremacy you wet your pants over. the Supremacy Clause says that the federal government’s laws take precendence over state laws. so if the federal government says it’s illegal to torture people until they drown to death trying to cross a river, the state of Texas doesn’t get to go nuh-uh, we’ll pull whatever shit we feel like. long story short, the Supreme Court took one look at the mishegas going on in the Rio Grande and six of the Justices were all holy fuck, the Biden administration absolutely has the right to end that barbaric shit. except the decision should have been a 9-0 no-brainer. the Supremacy Clause makes it pretty fucking clear that Greg Abbot doesn’t get to play The Law Is Me just because he’s a racist psychopath who gets off on inflicting misery. as I like to point out, we fought a whole Civil War over this states’ rights nonsense, and guess who won. but once again, four Federalist Society hacks on the Court were all my dudes, Harlan Crow doesn’t pay us to read the Constitution. now excuse us, we have a fishing cruise to pack for. we got lucky this time. Team Evil came within one vote of winning another one. by the way, House and Senate Republicans could end their manufactured “border crisis” in a hot minute, if they wanted to. Biden has been for a long while now asking for more money for immigration judges and border security, but the congressional GOP refuses to pass the necessary legislation. why? because Republicans don’t want to fix the border — they want to whine about the border. they want to point at the border and say see? Sleepy Brandon wants illegals to steal your vote, or some such nonsense. it’s a cynical political ploy from the Party of Absolutely No Ideas. Little Donny Fuckface wants to use the border as a campaign issue — with the markets rising and consumer prices falling and unemployment virtually nonexistent, it’s the only issue the felonious fuck has got left to run on — that and whining about how unfair it is that he’s not already king for life. Donny has been phoning GOP leadership and threatening to throw ketchup bottles at their heads unless they sabotage all immigration legislation. so we have the Republican establishment taking their marching orders from a 91-count dementia factory who barely knows which end is up. beautiful. hell of a political party you’ve got there. hide-and-seek enthusiast Elise Stefanik just can’t seem to manage to keep her stupid lying mouth shut. you see, yesterday there was a bit of a health scare at Donald Trump’s Yeah, You Definitely Fucking Raped Her trial. as things got underway, the parking garage lawyer stood up and announced that her parents, who she’d been with over the weekend, had just tested positive for covid. a juror announced that they, too, were feeling poorly, and so Judge Kaplan sent everyone home. when Stefanik (or Steppannack, if, like Trump, your brain is rotting) heard the news, she took to not-twitter to proclaim that delaying the trial was ELECTION INTERFERENCE!!! “This is blatant election interference! Joe Biden and his Democrat cronies are the true threats to democracy! TRUMP 2024!” my god, Elise is really working overtime here in hopes of becoming Trump’s vice president — and so she’s dutifully screeching ELECTION INTERFERENCE! at the drop of a hat. if the trial is delayed, it’s ELECTION INTERFERENCE! if the trial goes forward, it’s ELECTION INTERFERENCE! if rainbows shoot out of Judge Kaplan’s ass and he declares free ice cream for everyone, it’s ELECTION INTERFERENCE! all this in service of a guy who can’t be bothered to learn her name. “how good did Elise Steppannack do?” heck of a job, Donny. everyone is entitled to my own opinion is a reader-supported publication. everyone is entitled to my own opinion © 2024 Jeff Tiedrich 548 Market Street PMB 72296, San Francisco, CA 94104

Homeless Hoosier Hawaiian Hallucinogenic Honey

A pastor was arrested for saving homeless people from freezing. what the fuck have we become across the country, laws are being passed that mandate cruelty JEFF TIEDRICH JAN 19 I was Homeless once upon a time ago. It was in Hawaii so it wasn't that bad I suppose. “give me your hungry, your tired, your poor — I’ll piss on ’em that’s what the Statue of Bigotry says your poor huddled masses, let’s club ’em to death and get it over with and just dump ’em on the boulevard” — Lou Reed, Dirty Boulevard Upgrade to paid here’s a heartwarming story from our nation’s heartland. Chris Avell, pastor of Dad’s Place in Bryan, Ohio, was arraigned in court last Thursday because he kept his church open 24/7 to provide warmth to the unhoused. I’m sorry, a pastor was arraigned for doing what? you read that right. this past week, as much of the country suffered sub-zero temperatures, Chris Avell, a pastor in Ohio, looked at the weather report, looked at all the unhoused people in his neighborhood, and rightfully concluded that a lot of them were going to freeze to death unless somebody did something. Pastor Avell decided that he was going to be that somebody, and opened the doors of his church to anyone who needed shelter — and his neighbors were all no, absolutely fucking not. they went to the police and said arrest this guy and the police were all arrest him? for what? so some fuckface lawyer with too much time on their hands pored through every law on the books, and lo and behold, came up with this: Ohio law prohibits residential use in first-floor buildings in a business district. Since the church is zoned as a Central Business, the building is restricted from allowing people to eat or sleep on the property. and this is the bullshit they cooked up to fucking arrest Pastor Avell for doing his job and following the teachings of Jesus. Jesus, remember him? remember all that business in the Bible about comforting the afflicted? sorry to be the one to tell you this, Pastor, but that’s the old Jesus. he’s been shitcanned and replaced by MAGA Jesus — and MAGA Jesus says fuck the afflicted. across the country, laws are being passed that mandate gratuitous cruelty. in Texas, they’re trying to get rid of water breaks for outdoor workers. In a week when parts of the state are getting triple-digit temperatures and weather officials urge Texans to stay cool and hydrated, Gov. Greg Abbott gave final approval to a law that will eliminate local rules mandating water breaks for construction workers. House Bill 2127 was passed by the Texas Legislature during this year’s regular legislative session. Abbott signed it Tuesday. It will go into effect on Sept. 1. in Arizona, it’s illegal to give food and water to migrants. Four humanitarian aid volunteers were convicted of misdemeanor charges on Friday after leaving food and water for migrants crossing a remote wildlife refuge on the United States-Mexico border in 2017. hell, in Georgia you can’t even give water to people waiting in line to vote. Under the new legislation, it is illegal for anyone except poll workers to provide food or water to voters in line for polls. According to Eric Segall, Ashe family chair professor of law at Georgia State University College of Law, this means not even friends and family can bring snacks to voters in line. federal judges have put on hold the laws in Texas and Georgia, but that’s not going to keep these assholes from falling the fuck over each other in a mad dash to pass ever more harsher laws. right now, the six bought-and-paid-for Federalist Society hacks on the Supreme Court appear poised to rule that that safety regulations are unconstitutional. The Supreme Court’s conservative majority appeared likely Wednesday to curtail the ability of federal agencies to regulate a host of areas that touch on American life, signaling that a 40-year-old decision characterized as a “bedrock” of administrative law could be in jeopardy. there was a time not very long ago when Republicans tried to convince us that they had turned over a new leaf — that they were “compassionate conservatives.” of course it was a bullshit lie from the get-go, but now they’re not even bothering to pretend. being a heartless shithead is now a GOP badge of honor. “compassionate conservatism” has been replaced with the doctrine of “just fucking die.” carrying a non-viable fetus that’s a danger to your life? just fucking die. caught in razor-wire booby traps in the Rio Grande? just fucking die. can’t afford healthcare? just fucking die. unhoused and freezing? just fucking die. everyone is entitled to my own opinion is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. © 2024 Jeff Tiedrich 548 Market Street PMB 72296, San Francisco, CA 94104 Unsubscribe