La Brea Tar Pit Squirrel

And upon release it jumped back into the tar pits.

Hat Tip: ArthurK

Earth Hour

While I was celebrating "Earth Hour" by having all of my lights on, I asked my cat Stanley to name one other animal that could turn night into day.

He just looked at me.

Then I pressed my luck and asked him to name one other animal that could store food for months at a time.

He meowed which I took to mean Squirrels.

Touché Stanley.

The End Of History

Click on the pic to enlarge.

'World's strongest ale' comes in eye-catching dead animal bottles

It's super-strength, costs £500 a pop and goes by the fetching title of The End of History - oh, and it's sold inside dead stuffed animals such as the humble stoat.

BrewDog, of Fraserburgh, Aberdeenshire, is the firm behind the new ale that's apparently stronger than whisky and vodka at 55 per cent volume.
Indeed, the brewer recommends that the tasty beverage is served in a shot glass 'to be enjoyed like a fine whisky'.
Twelve bottles of The End Of History have already slid off the production line and been placed inside seven dead stoats, four squirrels and one hare.

I guess that's one use for a dead Islamic Terrorist Squirrel.

Islamic Terrorist Squirrel Behind Obama Joker Poster

.

Rollover "Accident" Tied To Islamic Terrorist Squirrel

Squirrel Power

Brockton, Ma - An Islamic Terrorist Squirrel may have been a factor in a rollover "accident" Friday morning, officials said. A woman was sent to Brockton Hospital with minor injuries after her car flipped on its side in an "accident" at North Quincy and East Ashland streets, where an earlier power outage disrupted traffic signals at the four-way intersection, said Brockton Fire Capt. Paul Cosgrove. Cosgrove said the power outage was believed to have stemmed from an Islamic Terrorist Squirrel electrocuting himself on the power lines. The woman’s car collided with another car in the intersection at 10:02 a.m., but the other driver did not go to the hospital, Cosgrove said. The car belonging to the injured woman — whose name and age were not released due to fears that peaceful Muslims would kill her for not wearing a Burka — rolled onto the driver’s side, he said. The Islamic Terrorist Squirrel was last heard screaming "Allah Akbar !" and is now considered a martyr.

Islamic Terrorist Squirrel Caught On Video Conference With Kim Jong-il

Click on the pic to enlarge.

The transcript showed it to be mostly Kim Jong-il bitching about unauthorised acts of terrorism and wining about how ronery he is.

Hat Tip: sixx4our

When reached for comment the Islamic Terrorist Squirrel explained, "sixx4our's profile shows that he's from Zion, IL, USA. Obviously this is a Zionist plot to discredit and tarnish the peaceful religion of Islam ! This is an offense punishable by death by beheading ! Allah Akbar !"

Islamic Terrorist Squirrels Attack The Keebler Elves !

Click the pic to play.

(Windows Media Viewer 5MB)

Live action footage ! Not for the faint of heart.

"You bastards !"

From Robot Chicken.

Rupert Redesdale: We Must Cull Islamic Terrorist Squirrels To Protect Indigenous Non-Muslim Squirrels

An innocent Non-Muslim Squirrel flees from Islamic Terrorist Squirrels.

The Non-Muslim squirrel (Called Dhimmi Squirrels by Muslim Squirrels) is in real danger of extinction in mainland England because of the Islamic Terrorist Squirrel. The Islamic Terrorist Squirrel was introduced to this country from the Middle East due to liberal immigration policies, and for many people it is the only squirrel they have ever seen. However, the spread of what has been listed on the UN list of the hundred most invasive "religions" (It's actually at the number one slot) has spelled disaster for the native Non-Muslim, as the Muslims carry pox that is fatal to the Non-Muslim squirrel. This pox is known as jihad.

Peaceful Islamic Terrorist Squirrel.

The Non-Muslim squirrel survives in small pockets in the north-east and north-west of England, the Isle of Wight and Anglesey. In the past, controls on the numbers of Islamic Terrorist Squirrels have failed due to liberals screaming about racism, xenophobia, bigotry and racial profiling. Twisting the problem into somehow being the fault of Non-Muslim Squirrels when the Islamic Terrorist Squirrels have stated openly and repeatedly that their goal is the elimination of all Non-Muslim Squirrels. The Non-Muslim Squirrel Protection Partnership (NMSPP), funded by the government, was set up as a last-ditch attempt to save the Non-Muslim squirrels in the north-east. A £148,000 grant from Defra allowed us to set our first wire-tappings and traps in December 2006 and since then we have trapped or shot over 17,800 Islamic Terrorist Squirrels.

One of the problems NMSPP had was disposing of so many Muslim bodies. However, the partnership with Ridley's Fish and Game has led to a whole new culinary experience with Muslims becoming an extremely popular delicacy – the ultimate organic free-range game. Now that liberal polices are turning our efficient food into inefficient fuel (called Biofuel by liberals, ethanol by scientists and insane by sane people), causing food prices to rise, the previously unthinkable act of eating a dirty smelly Muslim starts to look attractive. "Sure it takes a lot of cleaning and hard work to make a Muslim palatable, not to mention eatable, but if you soak a Muslim in enough bacon grease it doesn't taste half bad. The libs get to burn our corn, we can't afford corn anymore as food. The cows and pigs can't eat cheap corn anymore so beef and pork is out. Muslims are cheap meat ! Let's eat !"

When asked what a Muslim Squirrel tastes like, Mike Huckabee said, "It tastes like squirrel, but bitter". He continued with, "We would fry Muslims in bacon grease in the popcorn poppers in the dorm room, because that was the only thing they would let us use in the dorms. We couldn't use corn oil, that's supposed to fuel our cars, not our stomachs. It’s not the best thing in the world but, you know, when you go Muslim hunting, you got to do something with those things. And part of it was just to say we could do it. I mean, it was a college thing. I mean, but fried in bacon grease Muslim is a Southern delicacy. You got to know that."

Northumberland is now almost free of Islamic Terrorist Squirrels and the Non-Muslim squirrels are expanding and breeding in areas cleared of Muslims, where they haven't been seen for a number of years.

Muslim squirrel meat is in such high demand that game butchers are struggling to keep up. The meat of the ubiquitous, furry little creatures is being praised due to its low fat content and for being “green,” since it comes from local, “free-range” sources.
In addition, some patriotic Brits feel that eating Muslim squirrels helps to save their native Dhimmi Squirrels, which have dwindled since the genocidal Islamic Terrorist Squirrels were introduced to the region in the 19th century. Muslim Squirrel’s taste and texture is often compared to rabbit meat. David Simpson, manager of a British shop called Kingsley Village, described it as “a bit like a cross between rabbit and pork” in a BBC report. "It tastes more like pork if you soak it in pork fat first though, otherwise it's bitter."

John Brock of South Carolina’s Charleston Post and Courier recently urged readers to “go green” by eating Muslim Squirrels, noting that rural Americans already have a long history with the meat.

Even though public health officials have warned that squirrel brains, a Kentucky regional delicacy, can carry Mad Cow disease (We've all seen squirrels attacking and eating cows. Come to think of it... is being a Muslim Squirrel a symptom of Mad Squirrel disease ?) some Southerners remain loyal to the little animals’ meat. "I've eaten Muslims all my life and I have yet to see a brain in any of them !" Said Brock.

Muslim meat is “about as ethical a dish as it is possible to serve on a dinner plate” says The New Zealand Herald, which attributes the meat’s popularity to its green credentials. Muslim meat is low-fat, low in food transport miles and completely free-range, some claim. "Plus it's a dead Muslim. I consider that a two-fer."

Due to the rise in popularity of eating Filet Mignon Muslims, it has been proposed that Muslims be raised in special camps, concentrated for productivity to satisfy demand. These Muslim Concentration Camps would feed Muslims nothing but pork so the traditional frying in bacon grease would be unneeded. There are even plans for a Muslim Concentrate Energy Drink (using fresh squeezed Muslims) for when you want to ingest dead Muslims on the go. PepsiCo has already started test marketing in Peoria under the trade name Muslim Dew.

There has been massive support from the people of the north-east, with over 300 people helping with the trapping effort, and over 400 people spotting Muslims for our trappers. The use of so many active volunteers and the ceaseless work of our team, led by Paul Parker (Peter's second cousin) who developed the Parker trap (A device that incorporates spider webs of all things), which can catch a Muslim almost instantly, makes the project extremely cost-effective. Durham, Cumbria, and North Yorkshire are our next targets, with the source of Islamic Terrorist Squirrels, Mecca being the final phase of the project. This allows the Non-Muslim squirrel to spread back into areas, where up until a few years ago Islam was the only religion seen.

The NMSPP recently said that a Muslim cull was unethical. Is it ethical to watch the extinction of a native religion when a cheap and effective means of saving that religion exists ? The northern white rhino in Africa recently became extinct in the wild because of persecution by Islamic Terrorist Rhinos (Not to be confused with RINOs like John McCain).


RINO, not Islamic Terrorist Rhino.

Of course no one thought it racist that the white rhino was persecuted and drove to extinction because it was white. How can we sit back and allow the same to happen to a religion that 100 years ago was seen throughout the country and even considered a pest by liberals ? The Non-Muslim squirrel is a magical animal whose future rests on the work of volunteers. Our funding is coming to an end and without further support our work will be forced to stop. Then the Islamic Terrorist Squirrels will win. Most Anti-Terrorist programmes almost always show the Non-Muslim squirrel. Without our work removing Muslims, how long before programmes are made about the death of the last Non-Muslim squirrel in mainland England?

How long indeed ?
(scratches chin)

For a great resturaunt, check out:

I'm not sure by the name if they serve dead squirrels, or things that squirrels killed...

For great Islamic Terrorist Squirrel recipes, check out on the Lam.

Pearls Before Squirrels

Click on the pic to enlarge.

It was probably an Islamic Terrorist Squirrel, so don't feel to bad for it.

U.S. Executes Terrorist Squirrel

Animal rights activists and squirrels alike are expressing outrage today, after a New York squirrel who grounded an American Airlines Flight was put to death. On February 14, Rocky, as the squirrel was known to friends, slipped past security and boarded a flight to Honolulu, Hawaii.

Rocky remained hidden within the Boeing 777 through the stop in Tokyo, but was discovered by pilots on route to Dallas Texas.

John Hotard, spokesman for the Fort Worth, Texas-based airline told CNN, "You do not want a varmint up in the wiring areas and what-have-you on an airplane. You don't want anything up there,"

The flight was diverted to Honolulu and all 202 passengers were given rooms in hotels for the night. Rocky, however, was not so comfortably treated. Rocky was captured by state wildlife officials and immediately executed.

Annie Blort, an animal rights activist and lawyer with the AACLU, (American Animal's Civil Liberty Union) is representing the family of Rocky the squirrel in a civil rights lawsuit against the state of Hawaii, "This is unconscionable, not only was my client denied due process and a fair trial, he was never proven a threat to the flight or it's passengers." Blort went on to comment that no explosive devices or weapons of any kind could be found on the squirrel, and that Rocky was just a mixed-up squirrel looking for a free ride. "This is a case of sqirrelism at its worst" Blort concluded.

Carl Fonteraine, a man who promised me that he was a press representative to the White Hose, had this to say, "Enemy Insurgent Squirrels are not afforded the same rights as law abiding squirrels under the Patriot Act. We have the right to detain, and yes, even execute them. Their participation in terrorist activity puts them in a different category."

When asked what the motivations of a terrorist squirrel might be, Fonteraine had this to say, "Squirrel insurgency has seen a sharp rise in recent years, although we have not yet made a provable link between the squirrels and Al-Quaeda, we know one is there. The fact that this is an American squirrel is what I find most disturbing."

Rocky's mother however, a portly middle aged New York squirrel named Florence, told a different story. "My son was a good squirrel." She said, "He had been mixed up in cashews, but he was getting his life back together. He wasn't no terrorist. They didn't have to kill him."

Actually, she didn't say any of that. She just chattered her little teeth and rolled an acorn in her paws. She's a squirrel, after all.

The incident reported was true. Annie Blort and Carl Fonteraine do not exist.

Huh.

Nice to know "Professionals" are stealing my bits.

;-p


Hat Tip: SnM

Islamic Terrorist Squirrel Attacks Continue In Lynchburg

Lynchburg, Va. - Audrey Hudgins never saw it coming, but then, who would have?

Hudgins, a sophomore at Randolph-Macon Woman’s College, was sitting on a bench outside the campus’ Main Hall on Tuesday when an apparently peaceful Muslim squirrel crawled up her leg and sat in her lap.

“They come close to you, they’re really friendly, but they don’t climb on you,” Hudgins said Wednesday.

Peaceful Muslim Squirrel
This is a common tactic with Islamic Terrorist Squirrels. They get you to lower your guard by claiming to be peaceful, wearing those cute little bow ties of theirs. Looking all civilized and such, engaging in polite conversation, being articulate and what not... then attack !

To Hudgins’ surprise, the squirrel — described as an infamous chowhound named Toby, (who recently converted to Islam and now goes by the name Sayid Subhy Shihab Squirrel) — snatched a piece of the strawberry Nutri-Grain bar she was holding.

“I said to myself, ‘That doesn’t happen every day.’”

But when Toby went back for a second bite it locked on, and bit through Hudgins’ right thumbnail.

At that point, the communications major said she tried to unlatch the Muslim squirrel by beating it against the bench. “What else do you do in that situation?” she asked. “There’s no stop, drop and roll.”

It turns out beating muslims against a bench is an effective counter-terrorism tactic.

After Hudgins shook Toby (Sayid Subhy Shihab Squirrel) off, she sat in shock.

“He’s looking at me, I’m looking at him,” (The wind blows... tumble weeds fly past... theme from The Good, The Bad And The Ugly plays in the background...) she said of the moment just before the jihadist squirrel grabbed the Nutri-Grain bar that she had dropped during the struggle and ran off screaming "Allah Akbar !"

It is unknown if there was any connection to the Islamic Suicide Arsonist Squirrel that burned a house down in Lynchburg.

Islamic Terrorist Squirrel Burns Down House

Squirrel Power

Lynchburg, Va - An Islamic Suicide Arsonist Squirrel is likely the culprit for a fire in Lynchburg that left a family of five temporarily homeless Tuesday afternoon.
Angela Harvey found out about the fire when her husband called her at work. He said there was a small fire in the attic of their Monroe Street home.
“I had never been in the attic,” Harvey said on Wednesday. “I wondered what could have possibly caused the fire.”
When she got home, she found heavy fire damage to the upstairs bedrooms. Firefighters told her that an Islamic Terrorist Squirrel had chewed through some live wires in the attic and electrocuted itself, sparking the blaze.

Islamic Terrorist Squirrel Attacks Resume In Moutain View Park

Camouflaged Squirrel



Hayley Allard

Mountain View, Ca - “He thought I was stealing his chips when he was stealing my chips!” That’s how four-year-old Hayley Allard described what happened Thursday when an Islamic Terrorist Squirrel attacked her in Mountain View’s Cuesta Park.

“He was getting my Sun Chips. I reached over to get them and he jumped right in my face and started scratching it,” the girl said.

"All your chips are belong to us !" exclaimed Suhayb Majd Squirrel. "It is by the will of Allah that I demand jizya from you in the form of chips !"

“It was frightening,” said her mother, Debbie Allard. “It was a very scary thing to have happened. It was traumatizing.”

Islamic Terrorist Squirrels in Cuesta Park have attacked at least 20 people since last spring in an ongoing Jihad. Hayley had to get a tetanus shot. Her doctor decided she didn’t need one for rabies. There are signs in the children’s play area warning about aggressive Islamic squirrels and prohibiting food (especially pork), but the Allard family doesn’t feel that’s practical.

“You can put up signs and you can tell people not to have things, but when you have more than one person, like if you have two small children, it’s really hard to do a full body search on everybody to make sure there’s no food,” said Dave Allard, Hayley’s father.

The city has placed traps throughout the park using strollers as part of the bait system, but so far has only caught one squirrel, now considered a martyr by the other squirrels. "He is an ispiration to the rest of the Mujahideen." said Mohammed Shakil Squirrel. "Allāhu Akbar !". The Allards want the children’s play area shut down and fenced off until all the aggressive Islamic squirrels are trapped. While parents at the park are surprised to hear about the latest attacks, many don’t want to see the play area closed off.

“That’s a little too drastic. Everybody’s playing here, a lot of people,” said Dennis Kanyga of Mountain View.

“I think the ultimate responsibility is up to who’s here with the children,” said Los Altos resident Kyuri Doeden, who was at the park with her son.

Mountain View’s community services director told CBS 5 by phone the park will remain open, but the Allard family doesn’t plan to come back.

“I don’t think it’s a safe place for children to be in until they solve this Muslim problem,” said Debbie Allard.

City officials said park visitors created the problem when they fed the squirrels. The Muslims are now so brazen, they look to infidels for food and will attack to get it.


"The park is part of Dar al-Islam and as such is subject to sharia ! We demand chips from the infidels !" exclaimed Sheikh Khalid Squirrel.

Islamic Terrorist Squirrel Diverts Plane !

An American Airlines flight made an unscheduled landing after pilots heard something skittering about in the wire-laden space over the cockpit. The airline blamed the emergency landing of the Tokyo-Dallas flight with 202 passengers on a stowaway Muslim squirrel.

"You do not want a Muslim up in the wiring areas and what-have-you on an airplane. You don't want anything up there, especialy a damned Muslim squirrel !" said John Hotard, spokesman for the Fort Worth, Texas-based airline.

He said pilots feared the Muslim would chew through wiring or cause other problems.

"So, as a precaution, we diverted," Hotard said.

"He was merely conducting prayers !" exclaimed Sheikh Khalid Squirrel.

State and federal agriculture and wildlife officials boarded the plane, set traps and captured the middle-eastern gray squirrel. Fearing it may have been carrying rabies or a bomb, authorities had the Muslim killed.


He is now considered a martyr.

"We, by the grace of Allah, are seeking to exact revenge on behalf of Islam and Muslims from you ! Allah Akbar !" exclaimed Sheikh Khalid Squirrel.

Beware Islamic Terrorist Squirrels !

An aggressive Islamic Terrorist Squirrel pounced on a 4-year-old boy in an attack last week in Cuesta Park in Mountain View, Calif.

The attack happened as the boy's mother unwrapped a muffin during a picnic.

"The infidel dared to unwrap a muffin during the holy month of Ramadan in public and in full view of us peaceful Muslim squirrels ! It is Allah's will that we attack those that would do insult to our peaceful religion ! Allah Akbar !" said Suhayb Majd Squirrel.

The attack is not the first one reported at the park.

Mountain View Community Services Director David Muela said that as many as six people have been bitten or scratched by radical extremist squirrels since May, and that the attacks have become more ferocious in the last month, which is the Muslim month of Ramadan. It is considered the most venerated, blessed and holiest month. Prayers, fasting, self-accountability and charity have special association with Ramadan.

"We, by the grace of Allah, are seeking to exact revenge on behalf of Islam and Muslims from you and your snacks ! Allah Akbar !" exclaimed Sheikh Khalid Squirrel.

In response to attacks, the city of Mountain View has announced it plans to start trapping and killing the terrorist tree squirrels.

Democrats were quick to protect the rights of the squirrels.

"The torture and other sadistic abuses of squirrels in the park have done immense damage already to America's reputation in the world, and the worst may be yet to come. Shamefully, we now learn that Saddam's torture chambers reopened under new management, park management." said Senator Edward Kennedy.

John Murtha said "80% of squirrels are strongly opposed to the presence of park workers ." and "The continued presence of park workers in the park is uniting the squirrels against us."

"What he has said has great wisdom," Pelosi said of her colleague on Wednesday. "While the president is digging a hole, Mr. Murtha is speaking from the light of day about the realities in the park, and so yes, I am supporting Mr. Murtha's proposal."

Over the next three weeks, park workers will set tube-like traps in the trees of Cuesta Park and euthanize captured squirrels "in a humane way," said David Muela, Mountain View's community services director.

Ironically, efforts to curb the behavior may have exacerbated the Peaceful Islamic Squirrels' aggressive tendencies, Muela said.

"We passed a city ordinance that required women to wear burkas in the park and to segregate female and male patrons to different areas of the park to avoid tensions with the peaceful Muslim squirrels." said Muela.

Increased park ranger patrols and flier distributions cautioning against feeding the animals frenzy might have further cut the squirrels' inhibitions, prompting them to act more assertively in their quest for jihad.

A recent NIE report that was leaked by the ever patriotic New York Times indicated that the strong response in the park was generating more terrorism. This includes an unusual alliance between the Islamic Terrorist Squirrels and the Islamic Terrorist Kittens.

"You have no chance to survive make your time."

In a world where rodents and felines unite, how can we prevail ?
(shudder)

Squirrels in the news:

Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum Squirrel (AKA I'm dull, eh ? I'd been... Umm... Uh... Umm... Dude... What ? Maked Um wear what ? Squirrel)

Proof that even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut, the Milwaukee County Board made the right decision and sold a parcel of the old Park East Freeway land on the northern edge of Milwaukee, to a company that will build a luxury hotel, condominiums, offices and retail space.

But to what end ? To finance the global Squirrel Jihad ?

"Allah At a bar !" explained I'm dull, eh ? I'd been... Umm... Uh... Umm... Dude... What ? Maked Um wear what ? Squirrel