Floating Gazebo

I was going to build the Gazebo on the edge of my dock down by the lake but I thought .....
I might just as well build the deck with floats on it and I can then take it out fishing too. Has 15,000# capacity. The deck is 18ft x 18ft with 12 plastic foam filled dock floats that are 4ft x 4ft by 18 inch. high and the Gazebo is 10 ft. Hexagon with a table and chairs inside.

Under the table is my trolling motor so I can take it out to my favorite fishing hole. The trolling motor is remote controled wireless so I can be fishing outside and operate the motor. On the top of the table I have a LOWRANCE Fish-Finder with depth sounding sonars and temp gauge.

I have 2 electric winchs with 40# anchors. I have also built in a water pump so I can clean the fish right on the spot. Now I can relax and fish while my wife can sit and relax.

Click on the pic to enlarge.

Hat Tip: Mom

New Chinese Toy

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Hat Tip: Mom

Bad URL Names

Always read your website name thoroughly before you register it.... think of these and wonder... why didn't they think before they paid for this ?


powergenitalia.com - PowerGen, Italy
penisland.com - company Pen Island
therapistfinder.com - Therapist Finder
whorepresents.com - company Who Represents
expertsexchange.com - Experts Exchange

Het Tip: Erica B.

Hi, I'm A Marvel...And I'm A DC. (Mac PC Parody)

I don't know if this is funny to people that were never into comics... but I thought these videos were great !

Hat tip: Jeff

Two Legged Puppies

Precious Pups Born Without Front Legs

PORT WASHINGTON, N.Y. Three puppies at the North Shore Animal League were born missing both of their front legs, and while they're stealing the hearts of the center's employees, they're now in need of good homes.

The 4-month-old chihuahua siblings, Carmen, Pablo, and Venus were all born without front legs, but they are otherwise perfectly healthy, happy, and full of life. "They are healthy dogs that don't know that they have something wrong, and since they have each other, they are happy," said Donna Imhoff, Senior Veterinarian at the NSAL.

To get around, the puppies hop on their hind legs. Still, there are now hopes that a special wheeled device could be developed.

"If some kind of body-glove could be made, kind of like a scuba diver would wear, with wheels on them, then that piece could grow with the puppies," Yohannan said.

Anyone interested in giving Carmen, Pablo, and Venus a loving home, the shelter would prefer to keep them together. For more information and to track the puppies' progress online, click here.

They're so cute ! I'd love to have a two legged puppy !
I've wanted one ever since I first saw Faith !



But two legged chihuahuas ! How cute would that be ?!?
Plus it's a well known fact that chicks dig two legged chihuahua puppies !

Port Washington, New York is a bit of a drive though.
So I decided to check the local animal shelters instead.
It turns out that puppies being born that way is pretty rare, but they did have a lot of four legged puppies.

So I picked one up and then drove over to the hardware store to buy an axe.

Stupid thing wouldn't stop squirming and, well... I chopped the wrong darn thing off !



Click the pic to play the video

Oh well... guess I need to go back to the shelter and try again.

Update:

It occurred to me that I can use the spare legs and penis to make a puppy with six legs and two penises !



A little glue, some sutures, and presto ! Sextapuppy ! Or Octapuppy if you count the penises.

I had wanted to create a six legged two penised (two penie ?) chihuahua puppy, but with the price of gas I couldn't justify driving to the shelter again. Besides, my neighbor never leashes his puppy so I figured what the heck !

Neighbor: "What are you doing with my puppy ?"
Me: "Your puppy ? Does your puppy have six legs and two penises ?"
Neighbor: "Well... er... no."
Me: "Then get off my lawn or I'll sic my two legged chihuahua on you !"

People really hate having two legged chihuahuas snipping at their heels. Tends to freak them out.

I think the puppy turned out much better than my attempt to create a two faced kitten.



Or the time I tried creating a cyclops kitten.



Kittens just aren't durable enough I guess.

Now, if I can only create a four assed monkey...



Chicks really dig four assed monkeys !
Except when they start flinging their poo... that part chicks don't dig so much...

Update 5/29/2007:

Today if you type in "two legged puppies" at Google, I'm third in the list !
Guess that makes me an expert !


Update 5/29/2007:

Also if you type in "six legged chihuahua" at Google, I'm first in the list !

Guess that makes me the expert that other experts turn to so they can become all expertized in the field of six legged Chihuahua expertise !

(even though I didn't technically create a six legged Chihuahua, just used parts of Chihuahuas to create a six legged puppy).

Dictionary Of Political Correctness

William G. Otis at The ACRU Blog has started a new service so that when readers see or hear a fishy phrase, they'll be clued in to what's actually going on.

Hat Tip: Power Line.

Captain America Lives !

The reports of Captain America's death appear to have been wrong. He's alive... and he's a pervert.

A Brevard County doctor dressed up in a Captain America outfit was arrested with a burrito in his tights.

On Saturday night, when a costume party full of medical professionals stopped at On Tap Cafe, police said Adamcik had a burrito stuffed below the waistband of his costume and was asking women if they want to touch it. When one refused, he allegedly took out the burrito and groped her.

The woman called police and, when they arrived, the officers wrote in their report "there were so many cartoon characters in the bar at the time, all Captain America's were asked to go outside for a possible identification."

So when Marvel does bring back the real Cap, do you think it will be done by the Scarlet Witch or The Sentry ?

Just wondering.

What To Do With Your Easter Eggs

You could try stacking them and making Egg Art.



Click on the pic to enlarge.



Click on the pic to enlarge.



Click on the pic to enlarge .

Found over at Third Eye DUMB.


Happy Easter !

These Guys Are ****ing Crazy

Huh.

They're showing the movie on TV before it hits the theatres ?

Does this mean it won't be in theatres ?

I really wanted to see ATHF in a theatre !

Damn it !




Click on the pic to enlarge

So...

Next Sunday...

April first...

Huh.


(scratches head)


Does that mean they won't air it ?


(scratches head)


Does that mean there is no movie ?


(scratches head)


(head explodes)




Adult Swim, it's a love/hate relationship.

Two Problems, One Solution

An ingenious solution to both illegal immigration and energy independence.

From WuzzaDem.

Don't Wash Me

San Marcos, Tx - He's made a likeness of the Mona Lisa.

There's a portrait of Albert Einstein.

He's even recreated that infamous picture of dogs playing poker.

You've seen knock-offs of those before. So what's the big deal about Scott Wade's art? It's his canvas.

The San Marcos, Texas graphics interface designer paints his masterpieces in a place where they're guaranteed not to last for posterity - the dirty windows on his Mini Cooper.

Like many of us, Wade has seen those cars badly in need of some water and has been tempted to scrawl the hackneyed 'wash me' on a dust obscured back window.

But one day four years ago, inspiration struck, and the artist-in-waiting decided to attempt something far more ambitious than just a message about dirt. At first, he used his finger to sketch cartoon-like figures on his own car.

Then he discovered a new trick - you could use a frayed Popsicle stick to get all kinds of gray hues in that ash. So he began experimenting and before he knew it his artistic bent - with an accent on the bent - began coming out.

Wade can often be seen zooming his car over dusty hill and trail, trying to accumulate a layer of dirt on the back windshield so he can draw his newest creation.

In addition to his classics, the 48-year-old has also done replicas of Vincent van Gogh's "Starry Night", Boticelli's "The Birth of Venus", a picture of his late dog, various funny faces, a tribute to a magazine writer who wrote an article about him, and even a likeness of "The Last Supper."

He's also received requests to use the ashes of cremated people to draw their likenesses as they roll to their final resting place, a decidedly creepy idea.

"I've always drawn pictures on dirty windows," the artist explains. "It wasn't a conscious decision to develop a new art form. It was just looking for art in everything."

Each one takes only about half an hour to create and the results can be astonishing.

He's made about 50 of them so far, and never washes them off, allowing time, nature and the occasional rain storm to do that for him. He takes pictures of every one of them and claims he's never upset when they're gone, calling that the transitory nature of his muse.

Besides, like an Etch-a-Sketch, it simply clears the way for his next creation.

"Since it's temporary it doesn't have to be perfect," Wade points out. "You don't have to belabour it."

Naturally, there are academics who hail his work as a bold new step in the world of art.

"They're really transient art which, again, artists have done," explains Texas State University art and design professor Brian Row, who taught Wade in college. "You experience it once and it's gone. ... It certainly falls within the range of the way artists work."

Among Wade's worst enemies in his creative endeavours: too much sun (which can make the dust difficult to manipulate), a downpour (which happens frequently in Texas), and a rear windshield wiper (which can act as a giant eraser.)

To see this amazing artwork, click here.

Einstein



TrappedMarley

Look Kids ! Now You Can Have Your Very Own Britney Shears Doll !

Click on the pic to enlarge.

Rehab Britney doll for sale

The moment Britney Spears would have been dreading has finally arrived – the very first Britney Rehab Doll.

The new shaved head figurine, complete with straight jacket, is currently fetching bids on eBay for $82 (£42).

Manufacturers softened the blow for the struggling singer by slimming down her figure to Barbie size proportions.

Paparazzi can breathe a sigh of relief, as Spears' arms are firmly tied down in a white straight jacket, so she can't make any frenzied umbrella attacks.

The doll isn't pulling any of the crazed faces or bearing of teeth that Spears has recently flashed at cameras but carries a rather more dazed and serene fixated smile.

The mother-of-two is currently locked away at Promises rehab centre in Malibu, where she was reportedly visited by her estranged husband Kevin Federline and her two sons on the weekend.

No word on if it's available life-sized and anatomically interesting.

South Carolina Sword Fight !

Sword fight ensues after S.C. break-in

Hilton Head Island, S.C. (AP) -- A man toting a 3-foot sword apparently met his match when he broke into his ex-girlfriend's apartment: The woman's roommate grabbed a sword of his own and sliced the intruder, police said.

The roommate, a sword collector, fended off the ex-boyfriend, who was cut on the arm, police said.

Elvis Javier Polanco, 18, was treated at a hospital and charged with burglary and aggravated assault, Beaufort County sheriff's Capt. Toby McSwain said. He said Polanco broke a window and climbed on his friend's shoulders to get into the apartment.

The roommate, Louis Delgado Hernandez, disarmed the intruder while the woman called police, McSwain said.

Surprise! Swordsman's rival brings own blade

A man armed with a 3-foot sword broke into ex-girlfriend's home Thursday afternoon because he thought she was with another man, sheriff's deputies said.
Little did he know the ex-girlfriend's roommate, Louis Delgado Hernandez, was not only home, but is an avid sword collector as well.

En garde.

Hernandez grabbed a sword from the wall and a duel ensued, according to the Beaufort County Sheriff's Office.

In the end, it appeared the roommate was more adept at sword play.

Hernandez disarmed Elvis Polanco, 18, of 60 Blazing Star, shortly before deputies arrived, sheriff's Capt. Toby McSwain said. Polanco was cut on the arm in the process. He was treated at Hilton Head Regional Medical Center before being taken to the Beafort County Detention Center.

At around 2 p.m., Polanco and another unidentified man went to the apartment on Genesta Street off Palmetto Bay Road.

It appeared that both men had been drinking, according to McSwain.

Polanco broke a second-floor window, climbed onto his friend's shoulders and jumped inside the apartment, according to McSwain.

Hernandez defended the home while the ex-girlfriend, whose name was not provided, called 911.

A nearby deputy arrived within minutes, but not before the other suspect drove away in a white vehicle of unknown make and model.

Polanco was charged with second-degree burglary and high and aggravated assault and battery. He remained in the jail Thursday night, according to the jail's online log.

Hernandez won't be charged, McSwain said.

Zoo Tiger Mauls Child To Death

Beijing - A six-year-old girl was mauled to death by a performing tiger at a zoo in China as she was being photographed with the animal, state press said
on Friday.
The attack occurred on Thursday at the Kunming Zoo in Yunnan province. The animal lunged at the girl's head when a flashbulb went off as the child was being photographed, the Kunming Daily reported.
The tiger held the child's head in its mouth for over a minute as frantic trainers beat the animal with clubs and a chair, trying to force it to let go of the girl, identified as Rui Xin.
She was rushed to hospital, where she was pronounced dead with a crushed skull. Her mother was also bitten on the arm.
The male tiger had been performing at the zoo since May 2005, the paper said. Visitors paid 15 yuan (around $2) for a photo with the animal.

You know why the tiger did that ?
'cause it's a tiger.

No word on how the picture came out.

You Can Beat Them But It Does No Good

Elkhart In - Mother Accused of Beating 9-Year-Old's Head into Brick Wall in Front of Teacher.

A 9-year-old boy was in protective custody after his mother slapped him and hit his head against a brick wall in front of a teacher, then dragged him in front of the class and invited his classmates to make fun of him, police said.

The incident started Tuesday when the boy's mother was called to Hawthorne Elementary for a disciplinary problem, Elkhart police Cpl. Frank Owens said. The teacher and the boy were outside the classroom waiting for her.

The mother told the teacher she beats the boy but it does no good, Owens said. When she asked the teacher if she could go to jail for beating the boy, the teacher answered yes.

According to police, the mother replied: "I don't care who sees it."

Police say she then slapped the boy and pounded his head repeatedly into a brick wall.

The teacher tried to intervene by allowing the boy to return to the classroom, but the mother dragged her son into the room. In front of his classmates, she pulled on his lip and invited the students to make fun of his teeth, police said.

She jerked his arm and tried to embarrass the boy, Owens said. The teacher ordered the woman to leave.

When police arrived, the boy's face was bruised and his lip was bleeding and his mother already had left. The boy was placed in a foster home. No charges have been filed, and police are still investigating, Detective Lt. Peggy Snider said Thursday.

Police Say Mother Beat Child at School

What's Wrong With "High Maintenance Bitch" ?

High Maintenance Bitch

So here we have a bunch of bitches bitching about the word bitch.

Seattle, Wa - Dog Store Sign Angers Seattle Residents

A newly opened store catering to very pampered dogs, especially female dogs, is getting more than questioning looks for its name, High Maintenance Bitch.

Yes, the web site is www.highmaintenancebitch.com.

The third word in the sign is widely visible at North 45th Street and Wallingford Avenue North, one of the main intersections in the Wallingford neighborhood business west of Interstate 5 and north of the Lake Washington Ship Canal.

"I am probably the most progressive liberal person in the world and I am personally offended by the sign," said Janet Stillman, executive director of the Wallingford Neighborhood Office. "It's so blatant and so in your face."

The sign is the issue more than products such as Gel-ous Bitch bath gel and Street Walker paw cleanser, said Kara Ceriello, co-president of the Wallingford Chamber of Commerce.

Ceriello said she supports the store but has heard complaints from about a dozen people.

"It is going to be a hot issue again when we get to our Wallingford Kiddie Parade and Street Fair," she said.

Stillman said the sign could wreck family photographs of the parade, scheduled for July 7.

That's why God made PhotoShop.

"Walk by there with your 5-year-old and try to explain why that sign is there. Half of the sign is made up of the word 'bitch.'"

Making no apologies, co-founder Lori Pacchiano, 36, said she planned to meet with the chamber Thursday. Meanwhile, she and her brother, Ryan Pacchiano, 27, hope to made (nice English) the business name as commonplace in shopping areas as Victoria's Secret.

Over the next three years they hope to open 10 stores at a cost of about $200,000 each.

"Our company is probably the most high-end pet brand in the world," Pacchiano said. "We want to be known for growing from Seattle."

In the process, she said, one of her goals is to reclaim the word in its original meaning, a female dog, as opposed to a derogatory term for a woman.

"Our store is a dog store, but the concept and philosophy is directed specifically toward women," she said.

High-end dog shop's sign raises neighbors' hackles

Saleswoman Kara Tunner applies a dab of glitter to the nose of Suzanne Hansen's Italian greyhound, Annie.

Glitter ? Is this bitch a dancer ?

Hear Boy !

Jasmine The Dog

GIG HARBOR, Wash. - Groomer accused of cutting off dog's ear, then gluing it back on. Holy shih tzu !

A Pierce County woman claims her dog groomer clipped a part of her dog's ear, then tried to cover it up by gluing it back on.

Annie Sherffius says she took her two-year-old shih tzu, Jasmine, to J'Rae's Pet Grooming in Gig Harbor just before Christmas to be groomed.

Nearly two weeks later, Sherffius says Jasmine appeared sick and was howling in the middle of the night.

"And I never heard a dog cry like this. I never did," she said.

She rubbed Jasmine's head to calm her and noticed her ear felt like cardboard. Sherffius grabbed some water to soak the ear and, to her surprise, part of the ear floated way.

Pierce County Sheriff's Office spokesman Ed Troyer explains why this could be treated as a case of animal cruelty.

"If this was an accident and somebody did it, and they were to stop and call the owner and say 'look what happened, I'm sorry,' call a vet, bring the dog, get it treated - that's different than taking glue and gluing the ear back on and trying to hide it." he said.

J'Rae's grooming is now closed. The business shut down a few weeks ago and the building is now empty.

Sherffius' vet told her reconstructive surgery is possible for Jasmine's ear. But Sherffius says she's not interested, because Jasmine has already been through enough.

Investigators say they've talked to the pet groomer, but can't prove anything.

And while the groomer has admitted nothing, she did tell investigators that she's looking to get into a new line of work.

That would probably be for the best.

Groomer won't face charges for dog's severed ear

An unlicensed dog groomer who is accused of cutting off a dog's ear and gluing it back on will not face criminal charges.

The groomer at J'Rae's Professional Pet Grooming in Gig Harbor, was cited last week with operating without a business license. Her case will be presented before a Pierce County District Court judge, said Pierce County sheriff's Detective Ed Troyer.

Anni Sherffius said 2-year-old Shih Tzu, Jasmine, started acted strange after her December grooming session. Sheriffius said the dog's ear it came off when she soaked it with water. A veterinarian suspected the groomer had cut off Jasmine's ear and then glued it back on, Sherffius said.

Troyer said the groomer denied cutting the dog's ear and couldn't be charged because there was not enough evidence. The groomer has left the dog grooming business, he said.

Sherffius said she's happy the woman is no longer in the business.

Jasmine's Ear.jpg

No word on if the ear will be sold on eBay.

B'owl !

Window Media Viewer (5.8 MB)

B'owl is perfect for...

Hey Buddy, Wanna Buy A Crazy Astronaut Diaper ?

Crazy Astronaut Diaper.


Found over at Paul Harris Online.

Great Christmas Gift #3

Click on the pick to enlarge.
Easy-Bake Meth Lab !