Trashman

The latest Super Villain.

'Help, I'm in the trash truck!' Hapless 'thief' almost killed when his hideaway starts to crush him

When police were called out to a robbery at their local Wal-Mart , the suspected thief appeared to vanish into thin air.
For about 40 minutes on Wednesday morning, officers in Alliance, Ohio searched the area for a suspect who was accused of trying to sneak about $1,000 worth of merchandise out of the superstore's side door.
Then the police got a call from an man claiming to be his friend.
Alliance Police Lt. William Morris told Fox 8 News that the caller told police that his friend, James Brienzo, 37, had used his mobile phone to get help.

He was 'hiding in a dumpster behind a Wal-Mart in Alliance and he was hiding from police and it was just picked up and dumped in a trash truck and they were mobile and he needed help.'
Emergency operators also took a 911 call from a frantic Brienzo, begging them to find the truck. 'I'm in the back of a trash truck that keeps compacting me!' Brienzo said as dispatchers urged him to calm down.
Police say Brienzo was literally being compacted along with between six and eight tons of rubbish mostly discarded cardboard.

As Stark County Emergency Management officials used the signal from Brienzo's mobile phone to locate where he was, police were frantically searching Alliance for the truck.
During a 16-minute conversation, Brienzo told dispatchers he thought he was dying. 'I'm dying man,' he said, complaining his bones were being crushed, saying he knew he wouldn't walk again and screaming at the top of his lungs each time the truck driver picked up another load and compacted what was in the truck.
He is heard telling dispatchers at one point that he didn't care what happened to him, he just wanted to live.

'He was in pretty bad shape when the got him out, he didn't look too good,' Noel Hatfield told reporters.
'To be honest with you, I figured he was almost dead because that packs so tight in there,' said Mike Hatfield.
Lt. Morris said they still had trouble digging Brienzo's legs out of the pile as he appeared to be slipping in and out of consciousness.

The latest Super Villain.

He's lucky the trash was mostly cardboard.
Paper doesn't compress.
A fact that can save your life in an earthquake, tornado or other event that could cause your building to collapse.
So the few millimeters of corrugated cardboard between the inner and outer surfaces of the cardboard would compress, that's about it.
Yeah, cardboard saved this guy's life.

It seems to me there was an episode of Batman where he and Robin were trapped in a garbage truck...

I was right. "Penguin Sets A Trend".
:-)




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Oh Noes ! Can the Dynamic Duo escape ?

How To Turn A Speeding Ticket Into Jail Time

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(Windows Media Viewer 4.8MB)

Hat Tip: Mom

Captain America Lives !

The reports of Captain America's death appear to have been wrong. He's alive... and he's a pervert.

A Brevard County doctor dressed up in a Captain America outfit was arrested with a burrito in his tights.

On Saturday night, when a costume party full of medical professionals stopped at On Tap Cafe, police said Adamcik had a burrito stuffed below the waistband of his costume and was asking women if they want to touch it. When one refused, he allegedly took out the burrito and groped her.

The woman called police and, when they arrived, the officers wrote in their report "there were so many cartoon characters in the bar at the time, all Captain America's were asked to go outside for a possible identification."

So when Marvel does bring back the real Cap, do you think it will be done by the Scarlet Witch or The Sentry ?

Just wondering.

JL Kirk & Associates

I had the same experience with JL Crook & Associates six years ago in Indy. I could not believe they wanted me to give them what amounted to every dollar I had at the time for them to maybe find me a job. I was stunned. These guys are scum running a scam IMAO.

Swing by Kat's blog, Just Another Pretty Farce for the whole story.

Is That A Guitar In Your Pants Or Are You Just Glad To See Me ?

A man who was about to leave an Arkansas music shop was stopped by the its owner after he spotted a guitar-shaped bulge in his clothing.

That sounds like a very painful condition.

According to AP, Clifton Lovell, the owner of Guitars and Cadillacs, said he confronted Morgan Conaster, who at first denied doing anything wrong. But Conatser then confessed to stuffing an electric guitar down his pants.

Lovell said the neck of the instrument was in 29-year-old Conatser's pant leg, while the body of the guitar was hidden under his jacket.

He said he didn't intend to call the police after he recovered the guitar, but then he discovered a wireless sound system was also missing.

The police then carried out a hunt for the man and found the stolen equipment in his bedroom closet. Conatser has been charged with misdemeanor theft.

Owner: Man Tried to Hide Guitar in Pants

"I saw him walking out to his pickup truck and the bulges in his leather jacket. I said, 'Hey what have you got there,'" Clifton Lovell said.

He said Conatser, 29, replied, "Nothing."

Lovell pointed toward the unnatural shapes in Conatser's jacket and pants and said, "You've got something."

Conatser then removed a solid body electric guitar from his pants leg and from underneath his jacket.

"The neck of the guitar was almost down to his knee and the back of the guitar was almost up to his neck. It wasn't hard to spot. There was no way he could sit down or get into the pickup," Lovell said.

Terminated Over Toilet Paper

A man has been arrested for fatally beating his roommate with a sledgehammer and a claw hammer because there was no toilet tissue in the home, authorities said.

Not just a sledgehammer, not just a claw hammer, but both.

Crow told investigators that the men were fighting over the weekend about the toilet tissue when Matthews pulled out a rifle. Crow said he then began beating Matthews with the sledgehammer and claw hammer, according to an affidavit.

Matthews was beaten so badly he had to be identified through his fingerprints, detectives said.

I'm speechless.

Follow up: OK, seeing how no one else has said it....
"The man had an issue with the tissue."

White House Jumper Was Looking For Chelsea Clinton

An Arkansas man who was arrested after he jumped the fence onto the White House grounds this week reportedly was after Chelsea Clinton -- not anyone from President George W. Bush's family.

According to a court-ordered report from the D.C. Department of Mental Health, Shawn Cox, 29, thought Clinton still lived at the White House. He thought he was destined to marry her.

Not exactly up on current events.

Granny's Got A Gun

My new heroine !

Susan Gaylord Buxton of Arlington, Texas, shot an intruder who broke into her home using the .38-caliber handgun she keeps by her bedside. The intruder, Christopher Lessner, 22, suffered a leg wound and is now in jail.

Good thing she didn't live in San Francisco where only criminals can own guns.

You can hear the 911 call here.

Confused Robber

5.5 MB Windows Media Viewer

Man Serving Fake Arrest Warrant Calls Police For Backup

An Orlando man was charged with pretending to be a Merchant Marine and faking an arrest warrant. When his plan didn't work, he called police for backup.

Hat Tip: FARK

British Labor Party Lord Jailed For Starting Blaze

A British lord was sentenced to 16 months in jail on Thursday for deliberately starting a blaze in a hotel and endangering lives after a boozy awards dinner in the Scottish capital, Edinburgh.

There was nothing in the article that would indicate why he did it.
I guess stupid is as stupid does.

Lord Watson 'to restart career in England'

And the life peer, who was sentenced to 16 months in prison for the incident, has told friends he will turn his back on Scotland after he is freed and move to London to restart a career in politics in the House of Lords.

So, you're saying that the English are more tolerant of arsonists ?

His parliamentary career in Scotland is over and he has lost his directorship of Dundee United Football Club. The rebuilding of his life is going to happen down south."

Oh no ! Not the directorship of Dundee United Football Club ! Say it isn't so !

Malcolm Brown, a spokesman for the couple, said : "[Lord Watson] is legally entitled to go back into the House of Lords."

To what end ?

"He's lost his freedom, his role as MSP, his directorship of Dundee United and his salaries - do people really want to see him with absolutely nothing?"

Doesn't bother me any.

But again... why did he do it ?

Gator Wrestling 'Invalid' Jailed

A benefit cheat who was photographed wrestling an alligator while claiming he was "virtually unable to walk" has been jailed for 12 months.

Homer Simpson ?

PRAGUE (Reuters) - A Czech man is being taken to court after he hid in a restaurant washroom until the employees had left and then hooked up beer kegs directly to his mouth. Cleaning staff found him drunk and lying on the floor of the bar at the restaurant in the city of Brno, about 200km (120 miles) east of Prague, the CTK news agency reported on Thursday."He had broken the door of the cooling mechanism ... and detached the hoses leading from the keg, squashed them in his mouth and literally filled himself up with beer," CTK quoted a police official as saying. The man will be charged with damaging property because he caused 8,000 crown ($340) damage to the beer cooling box.

Oh sure, who hasn't?

Voyeur's Hairy Feet Lead To His Arrest

A woman in the locker room of a local YMCA in Greensboro, N. C., thought something strange was afoot when she noticed a pair of hairy feet in the next shower stall.

The unshaven limbs belonged to David Herbert Witham, 43, who allegedly sneaked into the women's locker room at the Mary Perry Ragsdale YMCA Dec. 7 and attempted to spy on its occupants, according to Captain David Powell of the Guilford County Sheriff's Department.

Powell said no one was able to determine how long Witham had been in the shower stall, but the Peeping Tom was exposed when the woman saw his hairy feet.

"She noticed them because of the gap underneath the shower stall's door," Powell said. "She did not believe them to be the feet of a woman."

The woman notified locker-room attendants, who discovered Witham. He was reportedly caught with a small handheld mirror, which he used to spy on women who were showering in other stalls.

YMCA staff contacted police and Witham was placed under arrest. According to Powell, the father of two attempted to explain how he ended up in the women's locker room.

"He says he accidentally walked in there," Powell said. "He thought it was the family locker room."

Witham was charged with secretly peeping in the room of a female. He was released after posting $1500 bond.

That's why I always shave first.