Can't A Guy Enjoy His Porn Without Having His Neighbor Break Down The Door And Wave A Sword In His Face ?

Bret "Monkey Spanker" Stieghorst.



James "Butch Coolidge" Van Iveren

Oconomowoc, Wis. - According to the police report, officers were called to a residence in the 100 block of North Main Street after a man kicked in his neighbor's door and threatened him with a sword. The caller said the subject lived downstairs with his mother.
Police made contact with the neighbor, a 39-year-old man, who told them he heard a woman screaming from upstairs and feared she was being sexually assaulted.
The subject said he grabbed the 39-inch sword, went upstairs and kicked in the door to investigate. He repeatedly asked his neighbor "Where is she?" and made him open a closet, and searched the apartment looking for a woman in distress.
The victim told his neighbor, and later showed police the evidence, that the noise came from a pornographic movie he was watching.
According to the police report, the subject said he got the sword from his father, who had it in the armed forces. There was German writing etched on the blade of the sword.

Video Interview

Porn DVD Screams Prompt Sword 'Rescue'

A man says he broke into an apartment with a cavalry sword because he thought he heard a woman being raped, but the sound actually was from a pornographic movie his upstairs neighbor was watching.

"Now I feel stupid," said James Van Iveren, who has been charged in the case. "This really is nothing, nothing but a mistake."

According to a criminal complaint, the neighbor told police that Van Iveren pounded on the door and kicked it open without warning Feb. 12, damaging the frame and lock.

"Where is she?" Van Iveren demanded, thrusting the sword at the neighbor, the complaint said. "Where is she?"

The neighbor told police Van Iveren became increasingly aggressive as he repeated the question, insisting that he had heard a woman being raped. The complaint said that, with the sword pointed at him, the neighbor led Van Iveren throughout the apartment, opening closet doors to prove he was alone.

The neighbor later played for police the part of the DVD he believed Van Iveren heard downstairs.

Van Iveren, 39, of Oconomowoc, was charged with criminal trespass, criminal damage and disorderly conduct, all while using a dangerous weapon, and is due in court March 5. Together, the misdemeanor counts carry a maximum sentence of 33 months in jail.

Van Iveren said Tuesday that he heard a woman "screaming for help," grabbed the sword, bounded up the stairs, kicked in the apartment door and confronted the man who lived there.

"I intended to hold it behind my back and knock. But I froze and instead, what happened happened," he told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

Contesting his neighbor's account, Van Iveren said he didn't look anywhere in the apartment except the front room, and that he never threatened the neighbor with the sword.

"I had the sword extended. But that was all," he said.

Van Iveren, who lives with his mother in the downstairs apartment, said he did not call police when he heard the noises because he does not have a telephone. He said he barely knew the upstairs tenant.

Police seized Van Iveren's sword, which he said was a family heirloom.

Man, I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me. Stupid neighbors.