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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Random Thought

When I was in grade school, we'd take Elmer's Glue and spread a thin layer on our hands. Then after it dried, we'd sit in class and slowly peel it off while grimacing as though we were in pain. Good times.


Massive asteroid could hit Earth in 2182, warn scientists

A massive asteroid might crash into Earth in the year 2182, scientists have warned.
The asteroid, called 1999 RQ36, has a 1-in-1,000 chance of actually hitting the Earth at some point before the year 2200, but is most likely to hit us on 24th September 2182.
It was first discovered in 1999 and is more than 1,800 feet across. If an asteroid of this size hit the Earth it would cause widespread devastation and possible mass extinction.
And scientists say that any attempt to try and divert the asteroid will have to take place more than 100 years before it is due to hit to have any chance of success.

Maria Eugenia Sansaturio and scientists from the Universidad de Valladolid in Spain have used mathematical models to calculate the risk of the asteroid hitting the Earth anytime between now and the year 2200.
And they were shocked to discover that there are two potential opportunities for the asteroid to hit Earth in the year 2182

The asteroid is now behind the Sun and will next be observable only in the spring of 2011.

Cowardly asteroid ! Stop hiding behind the sun !

We'll just send Harry Stamper and crew to blow it up. No prob.

Now if it was a comet, we'd be screwed.

Oh, keep an eye on Rockhound. He's been acting a little nutty.

Maybe I should make travel plans, just in case.

"Get your ass to Mars."



SOUTHERN SHORSURAK, HELMAND PROVINCE, Islamic Republic of Afghanistan — Cpl. Matt Garst should be dead.
Few people survive stepping on an improvised explosive device. Even fewer walk away the same day after directly absorbing the force of the blast, but Garst did just that.

As they swept the area with a metal detector, the IED registered no warning on the device. The bomb was buried too deep and its metallic signature too weak. Two men walked over it without it detonating.

At six feet, two inches tall and 260 pounds with all his gear on, Garst is easily the largest man in his squad by 30 or 40 pounds — just enough extra weight to trigger the IED buried deep in hard-packed soil.

Lance Cpl. Edgar Jones, a combat engineer with the squad, found a pressure plate inside the compound and hollered to Garst, asking what he should do with it. Garst turned around to answer the Marine and stepped on the bomb.

“I can just barely remember the boom,” Garst said. “I remember the start of a loud noise and then I blacked out.”

What really happened even eludes Garst. All went black after the earth uppercut him. When he came to, he was standing on his feet holding his weapon, turning to see the remnants of the blast and wondering why his squad had a look on their faces as if they’d seen a ghost.

Marines who witnessed the event from inside the compound caught glimpses of Garst’s feet flailing through the air just above the other side of the building’s eight-foot walls. The explosion knocked him at least fifteen feet away where he landed on his limp head and shoulders before immediately standing back up.

Not quite sure of what had just happened, Garst turned back toward the blast, now nothing but a column of dirt and smoke rising toward the sun.

“My first thought was, ‘Oh s---, I just hit an IED,’” he said. “Then I thought, ‘Well I’m standing. That’s good.’”

Garst’s squad stared at him in disbelief. The square-jawed Marine has a tendency to be short-tempered, and the realization that the blast was meant to kill him spiked his adrenaline and anger.

“It pissed me off,” he said.

He directed his men to establish a security perimeter while letting them know in his own way that he was OK.

“What the f--- are you looking at?” he said. “Get on the cordon!”

Garst quickly radioed back to base, calling an explosive ordnance disposal team and quick reaction force.

“I called them and said, ‘hey, I just got blown up. Get ready,’” he said. “The guy thought I was joking at first. ‘You got blown up? You’re not calling me. Get out of here.’”

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Random Thought

The guy that created "Sticky Keys" should be killed right along side the guy that created Java.


Happy Birthday Bugs !

Happy birthday to everyone’s favorite cartoon rabbit, who “officially” turns 70 today. Back on July 27, 1940, Bugs Bunny made his debut in the Oscar-nominated Tex Avery-helmed short “A Wild Hare” (watch it after the jump). Though a similar rabbit character had appeared in a few Warner Bros./Leon Schlesinger cartoons over the prior two years, that little guy is mostly understood not to be an early incarnation of Bugs, whose biography claims he was born in Flatbush, Brooklyn, in 1940.

At 70 years old, Bugs is apparently taking it pretty easy with his career, having appeared in little since the underrated 2003 hybrid “Looney Tunes: Back in Action,” with which Joe Dante got to pay his biggest homage yet to the classic WB animations, especially those by Chuck Jones. But he will be returning to TV screens this fall in the Cartoon Network’s “The Looney Tunes Show,” in which he’ll be living in the suburbs with Daffy Duck as a roommate, “Odd Couple” style.

You don't look a day over 69 !

That new show has the potential to be pretty good.
Hope they don't screw it up.

PS: Carrot cake is the best !

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Pooping Pigeons Pummel Princes

Pooping pigeons forced the Kings of Leon to abandon their St. Louis, Missouri, concert after just three songs Friday night, the rock band's management said Saturday.
An infestation of the birds in the rafters of the Verizon Amphitheatre bombarded the musicians as soon as they took the stage, according to Andy Mendelsohn of Vector Management.
"Jared (Followill) was hit several times during the first two songs," Mendelsohn said of the band's bassist.
"It's not only disgusting -- it's a toxic health hazard. They really tried to hang in there," Mendelsohn added.
Followill, who describes himself as a "germophobe," said there was already poop on his pedal and carpet when he walked out on stage.
The aerial attack began during the opening song -- "Closer" -- when he was bombed in the face. His bass tech wiped most of it off with a sanitary wipe, he said.
Excrement struck each of his arms over the next two numbers, he said.
"I was hit by pigeons on each of the first three songs," he said. "We had 20 songs on the set list. By the end of the show, I would have been covered from head to toe."
Followill said he couldn't see the pigeons above him and he had no idea how many there were.
"The last thing I was going to do was look up ... but if that was only a couple, we must have caught them right after a big Thanksgiving dinner," he quipped.
The group was determined to play for St. Louis fans even though they had fair warning earlier about the pigeon problem.
Opening bands The Postelles and The Stills came offstage complaining of getting riddled with large amounts of excrement, their publicist said.
"We couldn't believe what The Postelles and The Stills looked like after their sets," Followill said. "We didn't want to cancel the show, so we went for it. We tried to play. It was ridiculous."
Followill's mother called him when she heard from friends at the show that it had been abruptly ended.
"I was attacked, Mom, but not by humans," Followill said he told her.

I guess they found the brown note.

Having Four Wheel Drive Didn't Really Help

Mark Pawlik, 46, was walking across the North Ave. bridge and talking to his friend on the phone when he noticed a traffic light had sunk into the ground.

Just the red, yellow and green lights were above street level. He told his friend he'd call him back. It was still pouring rain, but he wanted to stop and take a picture.

A moment later a man driving a black Escalade pulled up to the intersection at North and Oakland avenues, going east on North Ave.

"The Escalade just went wham!" Pawlik said. "Everything went down. The power line went like 'pow' and then I think it was sewer water was just pouring into the hole."

Pawlik leaned over the edge of the sinkhole, which was then about 15 feet by 15 feet.

"I said, 'Hey, man, are you OK, are you OK?' "

Pawlik said the man kept saying, "What happened? What just happened?"

The driver pulled himself onto the hood and then fell down into the hole. He pulled himself back up onto the hood, and Pawlik took his hand and then his belt loop to get him out of the hole. He said he was the only person in the car.

By that time, several people had gathered around the edge of the hole.

Pawlik could see that the ground had given way beneath the asphalt and yelled at people to get back.

Pawlik said he and several others tried to reach 911 but got busy signals, so a few people flagged down a city bus and asked the driver to call in the emergency.

Police arrived and put emergency tape up, and an ambulance took the driver of the Escalade away.

Pawlik, who owns a towing company, said the hole was about 20 feet deep.

Pulitzer Prize Nominee

As transformations go, it's quite a turnaround. Heavy downpours in south-west England have turned the region's scorched earth into lush greenery in a matter of days. The lawns at Cathedral Green in Exeter, Devon, were left a golden brown earlier this month after weeks of blazing sunshine. But just a week of heavy rain has put paid to that and now the grass has returned to a healthy, lush green colour.

The rapid transformation has stunned locals and regular visitors to the city. Stuart Adams, reception manager at the Royal Clarence Hotel, which overlooks the cathedral, said he welcomed the rains. He said: 'We get a lot of visitors and tourists, and some commented on the brown grass surrounding the cathedral. 'The rain has brought a wonderful transformation and I'm relieved the greenery is back. It looks totally refreshed.'

Grass grows when watered.

Talk about a slow news day.

New Zeal: "Picture of the Year"

New Zeal: "Picture of the Year"

This is so dead on :-)

Saturday, July 24, 2010

This Is Precisely Why I Don't Fly Fighter Jets


I can't hold it!

She's breaking up

she's breaking--

Pilot Capt. Brian Bews ejects as his a CF-18 fighter jet plummets to the ground during a practice flight at the Lethbridge County Airport on Friday, July 23 for the weekend airshow in Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada. "He is alive and we believe right now that his injuries are non-life-threatening," Canadian Forces Capt. Nicole Meszaros told CBC News.

This is precisely why I don't fly fighter jets.

Update: Watch the video on YouTube.

Happy National Tequila Caturday 2010 !

Click on the pic to enlarge

National Tequila Caturday is July 24th – a time for all cats to celebrate tequila in all its forms, from the incredibly cheap rocket fuel that powers house parties when the keg runs dry to the complex spirits designed to be sipped and savored like a fine whiskey.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The End Of History

Click on the pic to enlarge

'World's strongest ale' comes in eye-catching dead animal bottles

It's super-strength, costs £500 a pop and goes by the fetching title of The End of History - oh, and it's sold inside dead stuffed animals such as the humble stoat.

BrewDog, of Fraserburgh, Aberdeenshire, is the firm behind the new ale that's apparently stronger than whisky and vodka at 55 per cent volume.
Indeed, the brewer recommends that the tasty beverage is served in a shot glass 'to be enjoyed like a fine whisky'.
Twelve bottles of The End Of History have already slid off the production line and been placed inside seven dead stoats, four squirrels and one hare.

I guess that's one use for a dead Islamic Terrorist Squirrel.

Lois The Corpse Flower

After weeks of playing hard to get, Lois, the corpse flower, has finally started blooming for an entire city of suitors eager to see her true colors — and not-so-sweet scent.
The 5-foot-tall Lois has courted thousands of visitors this month at the Houston Museum of Natural Science, romancing the public with her mysterious story as a special flower with a knockout smell of rotting flesh.

A flower with the scent smell of rotting flesh.

The perfect gift for your zombie girlfriend.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

It's Bad Enough To Be Tasered

Shot with taser ? bad.
By accident ? Worse.
In the groin ? Oh crap !

And then... there's the guy's name.

Police officer blasts innocent man in groin with 50,000 volt Taser 'by accident'

A man was shot in the groin with a 50,000 volt Taser gun by police who wrongly believed he had been driving without insurance.
Peter Cox was given the electric shock after he climbed out of his BMW to talk to officers who had been following him.
He had a brief conversation with them but suddenly collapsed to the ground in agony when one of the policemen discharged the weapon.

With a name like that, I'm thinking he was an unwanted child.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Twelve Beers

There's only twelve beers in the fridge.
Should I go buy some more ?

What if twelve friends dropped by unannounced ?

That would be awkward.

I mean, yeah... um... er... I have twelve beers... but... uh...


I need to go to the store and buy more.

The only sensible thing to do.

Jack Freeman, Success Guru: Selling Kittens

Click the pic to play
(Windows Media Viewer 2.3 MB)

This is a video I slapped together today.
It's Drew Hastings' character, "Jack Freeman" from The Bob & Tom Show.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Barefoot Bandit

So I heard about this "Barefoot Bandit" a while ago and decided to protect my home by throwing down hundreds of thumbtacks.
Maybe that's why my feet have been bothering me...
(rubs chin)


Thumbtacks shouldn't bother my feet... Toetacks maybe...

Jeez, Now We Need To Turn Off Air Conditioning ?

So this dick Stan Cox (heh, see what I did there ?) says we need to stop using air conditioning to stop the fantasy of Global Warming.

Well, I don't have air conditioning, but I do LOVE to waste energy.

That's why I run my clothes dryer with just a Bounce sheet in it.

I like the smell of Bounce sheets.

That's just how I roll.

Plus the heat from the clothes dryer contributes to "Global Warming" !

It's a twofer !

Hawaiian Garbage

The island of Oahu is shipping it's garbage to the mainland.
Why don't they just ship it to the big island and dump it in the lava flows ?
Whatever isn't incinerated would be sealed in rock.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

PT Cruiser

They stopped making PT Cruisers.

Video: Chrysler PT Cruiser production ends today, Sha Na Na sends it out with a song.

I special-ordered mine when they first went into production.

Ten years and almost 200,000 miles later, she's still my pride and joy.

This is from when I first got her.

Thursday, July 01, 2010


Click the pic to play

Tune in to Troopathon.
There's an all-star cast for a good cause.