Happy Arbor Day !

Today is the day we all plant a tree.
We do this to replace the tree we planted last year.
We had to cut down last year's tree to make a baseball bat.
We need a baseball bat because tomorrow is May Day.
May Day is also known as "Hit a Commie in the face with a baseball bat day".

So Happy Arbor Day !

Clothes Washer

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My clothes washer has a setting for "Whitest Whites", no setting for just plain "Whites".


I'm pretty sure this post is racist somehow...

Happy Birthday Hubble !

In honor of the Hubble's 20th birthday.



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(Windows Movie Player 19MB)

From MST3K - The Movie (This Island Earth).

Happy Earth Day

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Found over at EGO.

Earth Day brought to you by Sherwin-Williams Paints.


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Found over at Exurban League.

Limp

I've been limping pretty much all week.
Not that any one's noticed yet or anything.
Just in case someone does finally ask about it I've come up with a great explanation.
I'll tell them "I accidentally cut my toe off while shaving."

The Cleverest Women Are The Heaviest Drinkers

Those with degrees are almost twice as likely to drink daily, and they are also more likely to admit to having a drinking problem.
A similar link between educational attainment and alcohol consumption is seen among men, but the correlation is less strong.

The findings come from a comprehensive study carried out at the London School of Economics in which researchers tracked the lives of thousands of 39-year-old women and men, all born in the UK during the same week in 1970.
The report concludes: "The more educated women are, the more likely they are to drink alcohol on most days and to report having problems due to their drinking patterns.
"The better-educated appear to be the ones who engage the most in problematic patterns of alcohol consumption."
Women's alcohol consumption can even be predicted from their scores in school tests taken when they are as as young as five.
Women who achieved "medium" or "high" test marks as schoolgirls are up to 2.1 times more likely to drink daily as adults.

I know after I've had a few drinks they sure seem more clever... and pretty...

I also have met a lot of women who think they get smarter as they drink when actually they just get smart mouths. I guess that's true for a lot of men too.

A Dozen Easter Egg Photos

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Hat Tip: Mary

This Is Precisely Why I Don't Play Counter-Strike

Chinese video gamer survives being stabbed through the head after cheating row


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An astonishing picture has emerged that shows a teenage boy with what appears to be a 10-inch knife embedded in his skull after a row over a computer game.
Chinese media have reported that the boy was playing the online game Counter-Strike with his friends at an internet cafe when the attack occurred.
Xiao Wei, 16, of Mishazi town, in north-east China's Jilin province, even walked to the 2nd Affiliated Hospital of Jilin University with the help of his friends.

The cleaver was stabbed into Wei's left temple, leaving only the handle protruding, and exited 1cm from his right temple.
'His face was covered in blood, but he was still conscious,' said Professor Yan Shijun, deputy director of neurosurgery department of the hospital.
Wei and his friend Huang were playing Counter-Strike and defeated most of the 'enemies' in the virtual world.

Alive: Wei lies on the operating table as doctors prepare to remove the blade from his head 'When we were playing games, a group of people from the same cafe came to us, saying we must install some software to win the game. Then we had an argument with them,' said 18-year-old Huang. Wei and Huang were allegedly pulled out of the cafe and beaten to the ground outside.
Huang said: 'My left arm was stabbed through by them, and when they had gone, I found Xiao Wei was lying on the ground with a knife in his head.'
Gaming website Gamer Crave reported that the attackers had accused Wei of using a cheat code that allowed his character in the game to see through walls - making it easier to locate opponents.
Dr Yan said it was the first time during 23 years of medical practice that he'd seen a patient remain conscious after being stabbed through the head.
X-rays and CAT scans confirmed that the cleaver luckily didn't hit any main arteries or nerves. However, the patient may have post-surgery complications like infections, brain damage, epilepsy fits, and tetanus.
Doctors operated for more than two hours to take out the knife, which has a blade measuring 14cm.
Wei's father said his son quit school last year as an 8th grader: 'He then worked from time to time, and spent most of the time at the internet cafe. We would never expect he would have such injuries at a cafe.'
Doctor Yan said last Wednesday that Xiao Wei had woken up from the surgery, and his condition was stable.
Police have obtained CCTV footage from the cafe and are continuing their investigation.

Found over at JammieWearingFool.