Minari (2021, dir. Lee Isaac Chung, rent on Prime) I watched Minari due to (everyone groans) me knowing someone (of course I do) who not only worked on the movie but was integral to bringing its production to Oklahoma. (Hi, Dylan.)

 https://substack.com/redirect/64c6cd6b-add8-488b-a677-c9d6b74322a9?j=eyJ1IjoiMmx2bWViIn0.HlTUQ70y18zlpkr7eDMg4eNbuQ8NWp19hEPTmiTzIdQ

Minari is a languid treatise on immigration, family, and chicken sexing. I wish I had seen this in theaters: its scorching summer day’s languidness would have been better savored in a cool theater, no pauses to answer texts, no pee breaks.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992, dir. Fran Rubel Kuzui, stream on Max)
(rewatch)

I haven’t watched Buffy in many years now, though I know the hog cheer by heart:

https://substack.com/redirect/882b99fc-b15e-4b34-81aa-870f53104789?j=eyJ1IjoiMmx2bWViIn0.HlTUQ70y18zlpkr7eDMg4eNbuQ8NWp19hEPTmiTzIdQ

https://substack.com/redirect/33b7dc6e-26cf-4f0f-aaa6-e62ee08880a1?j=eyJ1IjoiMmx2bWViIn0.HlTUQ70y18zlpkr7eDMg4eNbuQ8NWp19hEPTmiTzIdQ

Please Don't Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain (2023, dir. Paul Briganti, stream on Peacock)

Matt and I erupted into the same slow clap when we heard the Office theme music. The first time, because we’ve already watched it again. We laughed and had French toast and it was a really lovely morning - you are cordially invited to jock our idea for your next planless Sunday.

Road House (1989, dir. Rowdy Herrington, stream on Max)

I posted that I watched Road House for the first time and my DMs went crazy. Much like Lucille Ball’s deathbed goodbyes to Desi Arnaz, incredulous messages flooded in, the same question, with varying intonations and capitalizations:

“HOW have you never seen Road House?”
“How have you never seen ROAD HOUSE?”
“How have YOU never seen Road House?”

So it *shocked the world* that I had never seen this paean to the ethos that “dudes rock.” But let me tell you: dudes rock. Patrick Swayze and his Gene Kelly acro-fighting and his graceful, billowy pants rock. Kelly Lynch got them thangs and her uncle Red West rocks. Cody, the blind bar musician version of Basil Exposition, rocks in the sense of being a musical performer but also rules.

To quote Rebecca Pahle for Vulture:

“He tells Doc that Dalton is “great coming out of the gate, but not much for stamina,” and Dalton’s response is an amiable chuckle. Dalton! He’s talking about your penis. Do something.”

How Kelly Lynch’s Doc didn’t coat the floor during their lil’ dance number I really do not know. HE FLASHED HER HIS CUM GUTTERS. I’m!!!!!!!!

Shout-out to allison picurro, whose Substack Boy Movies was a constant on my mind as I watched the movie.

Charlie’s Angels (2000, dir. McG, rentable but of course I have it on DVD)
(I can not stress enough how many times I have watched and rewatched this one)

Yes, I did a Kelly Lynch double feature. She is one of the hottest women on Earth in this movie, which is an incredible feat when she is filming scenes in an office next to Lucy Liu and all 110 of her freckles, Drew Barrymore in a Steve Austin t-shirt, and Cameron “flip your goddamn hair” Diaz at her follicular best. Insanity.

You should never watch this movie or the sequel with me because I will recite the entire script at the screen.

The Chad was great.

Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003, dir. Quentin Tarantino)
Kill Bill Vol. 2 (2004, dir. Quentin Tarantino)
(rewatch for the first time in years)

Perla Haney-Jardine in Kill Bill Vol. 2 and Once Upon A Time…In Hollywood.

Love you bitches,

TG

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