shut up and take a nap

no idea where I’m going I stopped knowing how to be a regular person a long time ago… I don’t want to talk about our days I don’t want to tell you about my vacation and I don’t like to talk while I eat… it’s silly — people are the only animals who want to face one another and make eye contact while they stuff their throats with junk — why? can’t we just nod at each other and keep on moving? like, hm, I see you — I see you’re a person and you got this whole deep internal space-thing going on, (I know that because I have it too — inside life) and I know there’s just so damn much going on in there, so much you, so much thought, so much ache, so much ughhhh… and there’s just no way I’m gonna get at any of it in less than 35 seconds of smile-chatting — am I right? so who are we kidding here? what’s it all for? why all the feigned enthusiasm? let’s just call it what it is… I’m bored, you’re bored we’d both rather be somewhere else — neither of us is sleeping properly — I mean come on, look at those eye-bags, and god, your posture, yeesh… come on, fuck-it… what do you say we all just, like, shut up for a while and go take a nap? Garbage Notes: You guys know me—I get frustrated with small talk and perfunctory social gestures. It’s annoying to have to put on a face for other people. I don’t know, maybe I’m like hypersensitive or something when it comes to all this face-to-face stuff, but I can just see it in people’s eyes sometimes that they’re working so hard to bury all their sincere feelings under miles and miles of feigned enthusiasm. I wish it were easier to express our commonplace agitation. But, you know, people think it’s rude and uncouth. And the ones in charge of most things place such a high premium on politeness and social grace, that you have no choice but to fake your way through everything if you have any intention of getting anywhere in life. I guess most people would prefer we hate each other behind our backs than be honest about not wanting to have earnest conversations. Reading a poem like this, you’d think I actually hated people or something. That I’m some kind of major misanthrope. But the truth is, I’m not. I just get disappointed often by the emptiness of most public interactions. I love my fellow humans. I want to connect through art and come together doing meaningful work, where we respect everyone’s unique individual personalities and talents. But instead what I tend to be confronted with is abject pressure to be like everyone else. This cultural monolith is expressed in so many aspects of behavior, from attitudes about work, to how we feel about being poor, to how we choose to spend our time and money, to what we perceive as entertaining. But what this poem is trying to get at, is there’s so much more to every person, so much more authenticity and individuality than we give anyone credit for. We’re just lazy and afraid to dig deep to the ugly core. We have a fragile constitution when it comes to dealing with the messiness of strangers. And I hope through my poetry and storytelling, I can break through that a little. Franco Amati 2024 If you enjoyed this piece, a paid subscription would be the best way to show your support. But if you aren’t ready for that sort of commitment yet, you can always send me a one-time donation on my Ko-fi page. Garbage Notes is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Upgrade to paid You're currently a free subscriber to Garbage Notes. For the full experience, upgrade your subscription. Upgrade to paid SHARE LIKE COMMENT RESTACK © 2024 Franco Amati 548 Market Street PMB 72296, San Francisco, CA 94104 Unsubscribe Get the appStart writing