I thought Nancy Pelosi was a woman.

 ITEM 1: AP reported, “Prosecutors recommend six months in prison for a man at the center of a Jan. 6 conspiracy theory.”

Man? I thought Nancy Pelosi was a woman.

ITEM 2: SB Nation reported, “USA Boxing puts forth new trans policy and everybody is pissed off.”

Men can fight women — provided the men snip it off and wait four years.

Problem solved.

ITEM 3: The Daily Mail reported, “Epstein list released: First names are revealed by court after two associates filed appeals to keep their identities hidden.”

Those first names are: Bill, Andrew, Stephen, Leonardo . . .

ITEM 4: Via Breitbart, 32 of the 535 members of the House and Senate beat the S&P 500.

This means that even with their use of insider trading, my stock index fund investment did better than 500 congressmen and senators did. That’s embarrassing. Folks, we need to send a smarter set of crooks to Washington.

ITEM 5: AP reported, “Harvard president’s resignation highlights new conservative weapon against colleges: plagiarism.”

Oh no. Conservatives are using facts again!

The Old and Unimproved Dave tweeted, “HARVARD: If you shoplift less than a thousand words from another person’s thesis, it’s not plagiarism, only a misdemeanor.”

ITEM 6: DC_Draino tweeted:

“Tweeting doesn’t do anything”

Well it took down Bud Light, Target, Disney, and the woke President of Harvard

Use whatever tool you have. Look what David did with a slingshot.

ITEM 7: The Tennessee Star reported, “Attorney for Carol Swain Sends Letter to Harvard Corporation Demanding Answers for Plagiarism by Disgraced President.”

That $50 billion endowment fund is a pretty deep pocket.

ITEM 8: Conservative Tree House reported, “True the Vote Wins Northern Georgia District Court Case on Voter Integrity -vs- Stacy Abrams, Marc Elias and the DOJ.”

You still can question authority in America.

For now.

ITEM 9: AP reported, “US intel confident militant groups used largest Gaza hospital in campaign against Israel.”

Gaza City is an underground military fort camouflaged above ground by hospitals, schools, mosques and AP.

ITEM 10: The Daily Caller reported, “Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts Revealed As US Official With Highest Approval Rating In New Poll.”

Only 46% disapprove of him.

The tallest midget.

ITEM 11: Kelsey McFarland of KTNV in Las Vegas tweeted, “District court judge Mary Kay Holthus was attacked by a defendant being sentenced this morning. According to a marshal, Judge Holthus is okay but one marshal is in the hospital.”

With video.

The three-time felon was upset he did not get probation instead of jail.

ITEM 12: Variety reported, “Universal Overtakes Disney as Highest-Grossing Studio at 2023 Box Office.”

But Disney was the DEI champ and it got its pronouns right: Lou and Zer.

ITEM 13: Reuters reported, “US public debt tops $34 trillion as Congress heads into funding fight.”