Small signs of respect between people go a long way in establishing a positive and mutually influential relationship. This is especially true in new relationships where the values and character of the other party are largely unknown.
Giving respect through small gestures says more about who we are to others than just about any other act or disclosure. The respect we offer others is always a lens into how we see ourselves.
When we are offered a distinctive sign of respect, no matter how small, it suggests we matter and are significant to the other person, even if we don’t know them well. This instantly changes the dynamic of how the relationship evolves. When we share a sign of respect, we afford others the dignity they most desire. It honors the relationship and quietly suggests the other party is worthy of our time and attention.
Signs of respect carry a boatload of meaning in a simple gesture or expression. They say a lot about who we are and what we stand for. As one author puts it, the true measure of a person is how they treat others who can do nothing for them.
There are many everyday signs of respect that afford great benefits in relationships: listening attentively to others, making direct eye contact when discussing issues of importance, a firm handshake or warm embrace upon greeting, addressing someone with the honorific title they have earned, holding a door open and allowing others to enter a space before you, seeking advice on matters of their expertise, letting others go first or before you. Such acts tell others that you hold them and your relationship in high esteem.
Other more distinctive expressions and gestures of respect stand out and find themselves in the repertoire of great leaders. Consider a few less typical examples in new relationships:
Receiving gifts with both hands
In the field, taking your gloves off before shaking hands
Kneeling to eye level when speaking with someone in a wheelchair
Remembering the details of how others like things, such as how they take their coffee or tea
Waiting for others to ask for advice when they know you have the expertise to help them
Ignoring small mistakes and faux pas as if they didn’t happen, refraining from correcting unimportant errors
Never turning your back to someone when engaged in conversation with them
Immediately accepting any “No” without discussion or reaction
We can all be more respectful of others. Respect between people is often expressed through the small gestures embedded in conversation. Incorporating distinctive signs of respect into our everyday styles as leaders and people helps us forge the deepest relationships. Respect, both given and received, always starts with the desire to honor the relationship. Find a small gesture to accomplish that.
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