Click on the pic to enlarge.
Hat Tip: Fred
Bravenet Guestmap
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Joke Of The Day
A man goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "Sir, you're going to have to stop pleasuring yourself."
The man asks, "Why Doc ?"
The doctor says, "Because I'm trying to give you an exam !"
- Bob Zany
Monday, October 08, 2007
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Saturday, October 06, 2007
I Just Want To Know...
So Geek Girl posted a story about a neighbor that was playing the music to loud...
So I want to know why in all the many times I've had to knock on a neighbor's door to complain about the music, it's never once been a girl dressed in a towel !
Is that to much to ask for ?
It it ?
Its midnight, time to head to bed. Or, at least relocate the bed and flip the TV on. Watched for about 10 minutes, then.... thump thump thump.....louder than the TV. Grrr. Deciding that this just isn't tolerable, GG redresses, heads downstairs, knocks on door. No one answers. Knocks again. No one answers.... hmmm, what to do now? There's no after hours number for the apartment complex, so not really any number to call and complain.
GG heads back upstairs, hoping it will go away. It doesn't. Deciding maybe she doesn't want to do a midnight confrontation with neighbors she hasn't met, but yet wanting the noise to stop, she goes back outside.
Paces.
Walks around the building to make sure that it is indeed the apartment she thinks it is.
Fears the giant cockroaches that are lurking in the mulch next to her.
Paces some more.
Finally, frustration building, she gets a burst of adrenaline and goes back to door. More than a serious knuckle rap, she does a full fisted bam bam bam. So loud that upstairs, Gary opens the door to see whats going on. GG means business.
Who answers the door? Some girl in a towel. GG was ready for drunk frat boy confrontation (she's seen guys and girls go into this apt). Errrrr... switch gears.
"hey, you mind turning down your radio? its making my bed vibrate" (...but GG should like that, right?)
"oh, sure, I was in the shower"
awkward moment.... she's in a towel, GG has too much anger she's trying to hide...
uh.... "thanks, its loud"
So I want to know why in all the many times I've had to knock on a neighbor's door to complain about the music, it's never once been a girl dressed in a towel !
Is that to much to ask for ?
It it ?
New Features At Noahware™
I've added some new stuph and removed some old stuph.
Over on the top of the left column, we now have a Fortune Cookie and a Chat Room.
Way down on the bottom of the left column, we now have Recent Visitors by Country. This is updated manually for now until I can figure out how to automate it.
At the very bottom of the page I've added a Tag Board and a few Recent Visitors By World Maps. These take a little time to load, but they're kinda fun to look at.
In the right column, I've added the BloggersBlog Community and Chat.
We'll see how well these work and keep/delete/modify as needed.
Enjoy !
Update: Well that didn't take long. I had to remove the BloggersBlog Chat. It kept shifting the focus away from the new article. Oh well.
Update: I've added Gabbly Chat to the bottom of the center column. We'll see if it's better behaved than BloggersBlog Chat.
Update: I removed the Chat Room from the left column. It was too cumbersome.
Over on the top of the left column, we now have a Fortune Cookie and a Chat Room.
Way down on the bottom of the left column, we now have Recent Visitors by Country. This is updated manually for now until I can figure out how to automate it.
At the very bottom of the page I've added a Tag Board and a few Recent Visitors By World Maps. These take a little time to load, but they're kinda fun to look at.
In the right column, I've added the BloggersBlog Community and Chat.
We'll see how well these work and keep/delete/modify as needed.
Enjoy !
Update: Well that didn't take long. I had to remove the BloggersBlog Chat. It kept shifting the focus away from the new article. Oh well.
Update: I've added Gabbly Chat to the bottom of the center column. We'll see if it's better behaved than BloggersBlog Chat.
Update: I removed the Chat Room from the left column. It was too cumbersome.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Mom Was Right...No Running In The House
Click the pic to enlarge.
Click the pic to enlarge.
Ouch !
Show this to your kid the next time he goes nuts over a scrape.
Hat Tip: Fred
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Psycho Cats
Click on the pic to play.
Windows Media Viewer (2.3MB)
Hat Tip: Mike
Kitty from The Presidents of the United States of America.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Monday, October 01, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
U.S. Executes Terrorist Squirrel
Animal rights activists and squirrels alike are expressing outrage today, after a New York squirrel who grounded an American Airlines Flight was put to death. On February 14, Rocky, as the squirrel was known to friends, slipped past security and boarded a flight to Honolulu, Hawaii.
Rocky remained hidden within the Boeing 777 through the stop in Tokyo, but was discovered by pilots on route to Dallas Texas.
John Hotard, spokesman for the Fort Worth, Texas-based airline told CNN, "You do not want a varmint up in the wiring areas and what-have-you on an airplane. You don't want anything up there,"
The flight was diverted to Honolulu and all 202 passengers were given rooms in hotels for the night. Rocky, however, was not so comfortably treated. Rocky was captured by state wildlife officials and immediately executed.
Annie Blort, an animal rights activist and lawyer with the AACLU, (American Animal's Civil Liberty Union) is representing the family of Rocky the squirrel in a civil rights lawsuit against the state of Hawaii, "This is unconscionable, not only was my client denied due process and a fair trial, he was never proven a threat to the flight or it's passengers." Blort went on to comment that no explosive devices or weapons of any kind could be found on the squirrel, and that Rocky was just a mixed-up squirrel looking for a free ride. "This is a case of sqirrelism at its worst" Blort concluded.
Carl Fonteraine, a man who promised me that he was a press representative to the White Hose, had this to say, "Enemy Insurgent Squirrels are not afforded the same rights as law abiding squirrels under the Patriot Act. We have the right to detain, and yes, even execute them. Their participation in terrorist activity puts them in a different category."
When asked what the motivations of a terrorist squirrel might be, Fonteraine had this to say, "Squirrel insurgency has seen a sharp rise in recent years, although we have not yet made a provable link between the squirrels and Al-Quaeda, we know one is there. The fact that this is an American squirrel is what I find most disturbing."
Rocky's mother however, a portly middle aged New York squirrel named Florence, told a different story. "My son was a good squirrel." She said, "He had been mixed up in cashews, but he was getting his life back together. He wasn't no terrorist. They didn't have to kill him."
Actually, she didn't say any of that. She just chattered her little teeth and rolled an acorn in her paws. She's a squirrel, after all.
The incident reported was true. Annie Blort and Carl Fonteraine do not exist.
Huh.
Nice to know "Professionals" are stealing my bits.
;-p
Hat Tip: SnM
Bubba, A Short Story... With Pictures
Once upon a time...
Bubba meets the girl of his dreams, his first cousin Emmy Lou.
He takes her out for a special dinner, and shows her a good time at the Redneck Carnival at Diggerland.
The next day they spend together and Bubba shows off his water skiing skills.
Later that night, he romances her under special mood lighting.
A week or so later, Bubba realizes this relationship is getting serious.
He makes reservations for a Valentine's Day dinner. Emmy Lou was so impressed with his thoughtfulness...
They had a special Friday night date at the Soap & Suds Laundromat !
A month later he proposes to Emmy Lou.
He buys her a really purdy engagement ring.
On the day of their wedding, he tells her how much he loves her just before the ceremony.
Then they're off to their Honeymoon Suite.
They open their wedding gifts. Their favorites ?
Hers was the Chandelier.
His was the New BBQ.
Bubba takes his new bride home.
He wants to tidy up the place, so he cuts the grass with his riding mower.
Then Bubba decides to fix a few things around the house.
He makes the bathroom a little nicer for his sweetie.
He repairs the mirror on her car.
Click on the Pic to enlarge.
He installs a new flat screen TV in the living room !
Bubba works hard at his job every day. He does the best that he can with only a 5th grade education.
7 months later, they send out announcements. Bubba Jr. has arrived !
Now they are a family. They are so proud of Jr. and marvel at how he gets cuter every day.
8 years later, Jr. starts kindergarten. Jr. loves riding on the School Bus.
After 3 years in kindergarten, Jr. finally graduates to first grade.
To celebrate, Bubba takes Jr. and his classmates on a field trip.
Shortly thereafter, Bubba and the family move to a different state and settle into their new DREAM HOME on the river...
Where they live happily ever after !
The End
(sniff)
I love happy endings.
Hat Tip: Bill
Bubba meets the girl of his dreams, his first cousin Emmy Lou.
He takes her out for a special dinner, and shows her a good time at the Redneck Carnival at Diggerland.
The next day they spend together and Bubba shows off his water skiing skills.
Later that night, he romances her under special mood lighting.
A week or so later, Bubba realizes this relationship is getting serious.
He makes reservations for a Valentine's Day dinner. Emmy Lou was so impressed with his thoughtfulness...
They had a special Friday night date at the Soap & Suds Laundromat !
A month later he proposes to Emmy Lou.
He buys her a really purdy engagement ring.
On the day of their wedding, he tells her how much he loves her just before the ceremony.
Then they're off to their Honeymoon Suite.
They open their wedding gifts. Their favorites ?
Hers was the Chandelier.
His was the New BBQ.
Bubba takes his new bride home.
He wants to tidy up the place, so he cuts the grass with his riding mower.
Then Bubba decides to fix a few things around the house.
He makes the bathroom a little nicer for his sweetie.
He repairs the mirror on her car.
Click on the Pic to enlarge.
He installs a new flat screen TV in the living room !
Bubba works hard at his job every day. He does the best that he can with only a 5th grade education.
7 months later, they send out announcements. Bubba Jr. has arrived !
Now they are a family. They are so proud of Jr. and marvel at how he gets cuter every day.
8 years later, Jr. starts kindergarten. Jr. loves riding on the School Bus.
After 3 years in kindergarten, Jr. finally graduates to first grade.
To celebrate, Bubba takes Jr. and his classmates on a field trip.
Shortly thereafter, Bubba and the family move to a different state and settle into their new DREAM HOME on the river...
Where they live happily ever after !
The End
(sniff)
I love happy endings.
Hat Tip: Bill
Sam, The Scottish Shoplifting Seagull
A seagull in Scotland has developed the habit of stealing chips from a neighborhood shop.
The seagull waits until the shopkeeper isn't looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos.
Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.
The seagull's shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Aberdeen, Scotland, and helped himself to a bag of chips. Since then, he's become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips.
The seagull, nicknamed Sam, has now become so popular that locals have started paying for his stolen bags of chips because they think it's so funny.
"He's got it down to a fine art. He waits until there are no customers around and I'm standing behind the till, then he raids the place.
"At first I didn't believe a seagull was capable of stealing crisps. But I saw it with my own eyes and I was surprised. He's very good at it.
Hat Tip: Bill
Friday, July 13, 2007
Hawkeye The Scuba-Cat
Click on the pic to play
Kewl video. Windows Media (3.6 MB)
He must have to change the pool filter a lot...
Hat Tip: Mom
McCain Is Delusional
Sen. John McCain said Friday that only "contracting a fatal disease" will cause him to drop out of the presidential race before the primaries begin, as he vowed to take his campaign directly to the voters of New Hampshire and other early-voting states as a means of compensating for his financial difficulties.
McCain, R-Ariz., told reporters after a speech in Concord, N.H., that he will concentrate more on town-hall meetings and bus-tour campaigning to connect with voters. He vowed to fix the fund-raising woes that have left him with just $2 million in his campaign account, but suggested that money won't be the determining factor in New Hampshire or elsewhere.
"Fix the fund-raising woes" ? Yeah, good luck with that.
Your own bills are a fatal disease, politically speaking !
At this point Ron Paul stands a better chance of getting the nomination than McCain does. You can't piss on the base with crap like McCain-Feingold, then piss off the base with McCain-Kennedy and then expect people to vote for you (let alone send you money). Only someone that has lost all touch with reality would think he still stands a chance.
"My position on immigration was obviously not helpful with the Republican base."
Gee, ya think ?
I think my position with the war in Iraq has not helpful with independents," he said. "But I take responsibility for those positions, as well as taking responsibilities for any -- quote -- 'problems' that we had within the campaign."
Ya think maybe the 'problems' you've had with your campaign might have something to do with the fact the monetary contributions from and the votes of the Republican base are the only way to win the Republican nomination ? Seems kind of a duh to me McCain.
Tell you what John, try performing an abortion on a woman whose gun you confiscated, then steal money from her to give to the "disadvantaged fill-in-the-blank". Don't forget to say how the government should pay for the abortion too. Maybe that will get the base to back you. It would work as well as anything else you've done.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Global Warming Causes First Snowfall In 89 Years For Buenos Aires
Argentina's capital, Buenos Aires, has seen snow for the first time in 89 years, as a cold snap continues to grip several South American nations. Temperatures plunged to -22C (-8F) in parts of Argentina's province of Rio Negro, while snow fell on Buenos Aires for several hours on Monday. Two deaths from exposure were reported in Argentina and one in Chile.
In Bolivia, heavy snowfall blocked the nation's main motorway and forced the closure of several airports.
In Argentina, several provinces in the Andes have been placed under a storm alert, according to the national weather centre.
But thousands of people cheered in the streets of Buenos Aires at the sight of the capital's first snowfall since 1918.
"Despite all my years, this is the first time I've ever seen snow in Buenos Aires," 82-year-old Juana Benitez was quoted as saying by the Associated Press news agency.
Stupid Global Warming.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Sign The Secure Borders Now Online Petition
Senator James Inhofe, R-OK has an online petition drive to get grassroots action on immigration that focuses on securing the nation's borders.
You can find the petition at www.SecureBordersNow.com.
Hat Tip: Captain Ed
You can find the petition at www.SecureBordersNow.com.
Hat Tip: Captain Ed
Friday, June 15, 2007
Quote Of The Day
What's this you say? Hamas and Fatah senselessly murdering each other willy nilly? Why, I haven't been this upset since the last time I got a blow job. - Big E:
Hat Tip: Ace Of Spades
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Lion, Tiger Kill Man, Oh My !
MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - A lion and a tiger kept as exotic pets on the roof of a Mexican meat processing plant killed a man feeding them on Monday, Mexican media said.No word on where the bear was during the incident.
Caretaker Angel Aguilar, 56, was taking pieces of chicken to feed the two big cats when the lion swiped at him through the bars of its cage and pulled him inside, Reforma daily said. The tiger then joined in the attack.
Paramedics arrived at the plant in the rough Mexico City neighbourhood of Iztapalapa while the man was still alive but they could not get past the animals to treat him.
The two big cats, which had separate quarters of a big cage but came together to eat, were according to reports kept by the plant's owner as pets and in good condition.
After the attack, which left scraps of bloodstained clothing on the floor of the cage, the animals were sedated and the tiger's jaws tied around a chunk of wood.
The tiger later died, apparently of suffocation, after being transported by animal protection authorities to a nearby zoo in a small container. The lion survived the journey.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Bad URL Names
Always read your website name thoroughly before you register it.... think of these and wonder... why didn't they think before they paid for this ?
powergenitalia.com - PowerGen, Italy
penisland.com - company Pen Island
therapistfinder.com - Therapist Finder
whorepresents.com - company Who Represents
expertsexchange.com - Experts Exchange
Het Tip: Erica B.
powergenitalia.com - PowerGen, Italy
penisland.com - company Pen Island
therapistfinder.com - Therapist Finder
whorepresents.com - company Who Represents
expertsexchange.com - Experts Exchange
Het Tip: Erica B.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Hi, I'm A Marvel...And I'm A DC. (Mac PC Parody)
I don't know if this is funny to people that were never into comics... but I thought these videos were great !
Hat tip: Jeff
Your Two Legged Puppy Authority !
Respect my Authority !
Google knows all !
Google is most wise !
Today the great and powerful Google has deemed this site to be the foremost authority on two legged puppies !
All thanks to this post.
I don't know why I get such a kick out of that...
Maybe I should get some help...
Google knows all !
Google is most wise !
Today the great and powerful Google has deemed this site to be the foremost authority on two legged puppies !
All thanks to this post.
I don't know why I get such a kick out of that...
Maybe I should get some help...
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Ron Paul Likes To Kick Two Legged Chihuahua Puppies !
Two legged Chihuahua puppy ready for an ass kick
Ron Paul Ron Paul Ron Paul Ron Paul Ron Paul
Cindy Sheehan holds the puppies down while he does it. All the while Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears watch and giggle like school girls.
Cindy Sheehan Cindy Sheehan Cindy Sheehan Cindy Sheehan
That's what I heard.
Lindsay Lohan Lindsay Lohan Lindsay Lohan Lindsay Lohan
Maybe I misinterpreted...
Britney Spears Britney Spears Britney Spears Britney Spears
They were speaking Mexican or something...
Ron Paul Ron Paul Ron Paul Ron Paul Ron Paul
Never mind.
(That should get some hits)
;-)
Oh... did I forget to mention Rosie O'Donnell likes to snack on Two Legged Chihuahua Puppies ?
Rosie O'Donnell Rosie O'Donnell Rosie O'Donnell Rosie O'Donnell
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