Beer Barrels Bombard Borough

Click on the pic to enlarge.

Runaway beer barrels bombard village

Now that's what you call a beer garden.

A barrage of runaway barrels caused carnage after a brewery lorry dropped its load in a quiet Somerset village.

About 100 metal kegs, barrels and bottles rolled into gardens in Pecking Mill, near Shepton Mallet, battering flower displays and spraying beer over nearby homes.

The accident is thought to have caused damage worth thousands of pounds, and left residents in shock.

The 14-metre articulated lorry toppled while taking a sharp bend on the A371, a stretch of road known locally as an accident blackspot.

Lorry-owners Peter Green Chilled helped police with the six-hour clean-up operation - but the accident left a stale beery stench in the air.

Oh The Humanity !

Click on the pic to enlarge

Nooooooooooooo !

Quote Of The Day

"I'm just scared to death they're going to cremate her and stick her in a cemetery where she doesn't know anyone."


Sad story though.

Hezbollah Warns U.S. It May Change It's Peaceful Ways

Terrorist Sheik Naim Kassem

BEIRUT, Lebanon (AP) - The deputy chief of Hezbollah warned Tuesday that any "military adventure" by the United States and Israel against Iran would have dangerous consequences across the Mideast.

Sheik Naim Kassem suggested his pro-Iranian (and funded/supplied by Iran) group would not get involved if the U.S. attacks Iran, but he raised the possibility that Israel might attack Lebanon as part of such an assault - in which case, he said, Hezbollah would "definitely" respond.

No doubt by bravley launching missiles at civilian targets from within Lebanese "schools" again.

He said Hezbollah guerrillas were making plans in case Israel, like last summer, attacks Lebanon again.

Well ya know ass hat, if you hadn't kidnaped Israeli soldiers, Israel wouldn't have invaded.

"The resistance is taking all the necessary measures to be ready and prepared," Kassem said in an interview with the Associated (with terrorists) Press. He would not elaborate but said Hezbollah is constantly changing its fighting tactics so the Israelis would not know its capabilities.

Try fighting the Israeli army like men instead of hiding behind Lebanese civilians while attacking Israeli civilians. I'm sure Israel will never expect that tactic from brave Muslims.

We've evaluated the experience of the war and learned lessons from it and are taking steps to accommodate them with new realities," he said. "We are making sure the enemy will be in the dark in the future. This is the strength of the resistance and the secret of its success."

The biggest success they had last time was in enlisting the eager aid of the main stream media. Reading most accounts from the MSM you'd have thought Israel attacked unprovoked and that they were targeting civilians. You heard nary a word about Hezbollah indiscriminately lobbing missiles at civilians in Israel unless you watched Fox News.

The United States insists it is not planning to attack Iran and is trying to persuade Tehran to suspend uranium enrichment, as demanded by the United Nations. But fear of a strike is growing throughout the Middle East.

Fear of a strike should be growing in the Middle East. Iran is courting a dragon.

Kassem, a Shiite Muslim cleric (and terrorist), warned that an assault on Iran could expand across the region.

Huh. That's weird. I'm agreeing with a terrorist. Weird feeling. Fortunately it looks like a few Muslim countries are lining up on our side.

"It remains to be seen what the level of an American aggression on Iran would be," he said. "Is it going to be limited or an all-out war? Will other countries become involved? Will it spread to the entire region?"

It will undoubtedly spread, but American aggression ? Iran is ran by people that have repeatedly declared they seek the destruction of Israel and the US. They also believe that causing chaos will hasten the return of the Twelfth Imam. I'm hoping for an all-out war to ensure Iran's insane ideology never results in nuclear war.

Asked if the U.S. attacked Iran, Hezbollah would retaliate by striking Israel, Kassem said Iran is capable of defending itself because it "possesses the means, a tenacious populace and a wise leadership."

Wise leadership ? The terrorist cracks a joke !
But yeah, they've got missiles that can hit Israel, no missiles that can hit us, so sure ! They would attack Israel.

Iran has threatened to attack the hundreds of thousands of U.S. forces based in the Persian Gulf and in Iraq if America launches a strike.

Like they'd get the chance.

Kassem warned, "we will definitely respond and defend ourselves" if Israel attacks Lebanon.

What is this crap about Israel attacking Lebanon ? What does that have to do with Iran making nukes ? What does that have to do with us or Israel attacking Iran ?

Kassem's comments aimed to counter speculation that Hezbollah may stir up trouble in the region - including attacking Israel - if Iran is attacked: "They have to know that any military adventure, if widened and involves several countries in the region, would have dangerous consequences for everyone."

So earlier in the interview he says they won't attack Israel if Israel or the US attacks Iran, then implies they will ? Muslim pretzel logic ! From this mealy-mouthed interview the AP get the headline "Hezbollah Warns U.S. Against Iran Attack" ?

In Lebanon, Hezbollah has been locked in a power-struggle for months with the U.S.-backed government of Prime Minister Fuad Saniora. The Shiite group and its allies are demanding a new government in which they would have greater power. Washington has dramatically beefed up support for Saniora, who has rejected the opposition's demands.

The government of Prime Minister Fuad Saniora is also backed by the people of Lebanon. A detail to insignificant for the AP. Hezbollah is a terrorist group consisting of Syrians, Iranians and Islamic scum from throughout the Middle East funded and supplied by Syria and Iran.

Kassem blamed the United States for the deadlock, saying it is pressuring Saniora to refuse a compromise. Washington's goal is to undermine Hezbollah's resistance against Israel, he said.

Compromise ? Hezbollah's goal is the destruction of Israel. How can there be a compromise ? Resistance against Israel ? Hezbollah has initiated every conflict with Israel. By Resistance does the AP mean Hezbollah is resisting Israeli self defense ?

Kassem, who is the deputy of Hezbollah's charismatic leader, Sheik Hassan Nasrallah, dismissed Lebanese and American government charges that Hezbollah was a tool of Iran and Syria. In contrast, he said, "the (Saniora) government is directly dictated by the Americans."

Yeah, Syria has a long history of non-interference in what was once the "Switzerland of the Middle East". That terrorist, he's so funny he's killing me !

The Ideological Rhymes Of Hugo Chavez

More like the The Idiot-Logical Rhymes Of Hugo Chavez

A great post from Dr. Santy.

Is anyone surprised at this news?One of the dissonant rhymes of history is at this moment taking place in Venezuela. If you listen closely, you will be able to hear the repugnant sounds of a familiar oppression in Hugo Chavez' "socialist paradise."

He is clamping down on the press; he is nationalizing all the industry; he is threatening jail to anyone who opposes him. Things are beginning to fall apart, so the solution for thugs like Chavez is to just get more control. As once was pointed out to Darth Vader in a similar context, I believe, "The more you tighten your grip, the more people will slip through your fingers."

Like the 20th century's experiment with socialism/communism, the 21st's will only lead to even more poverty and misery. The smart ones escape while they still can (soon it will be forbidden, I'm sure).

Read the whole thing here.

Go Fly A Kite

I never knew that when someone says that, they're hoping you'll be killed !

LAHORE, Pakistan (AP) - At least 11 people were killed and more than 100 people injured by sharpened kite strings, stray bullets and other accidents at an annual kite-flying festival in eastern Pakistan, officials said Monday.
The two-day Basant festival is regularly marred by casualties caused by sharpened kite strings or celebratory gunshots fired into the air. Kite flyers often use strings made of wire or coated with ground glass to try to damage a rival's kite, often after betting on the outcome.
Authorities had banned kite flying following a string of deaths at the festival last year, but temporarily lifted it before this year's event. Officials said the ban was re-imposed following the latest deaths.
Police arrested more than 700 people for using sharpened kite strings or firing guns, and seized nearly 300 illegal weapons during this year's festival, said Aftab Cheema, a senior Lahore police officer.
Five of those who died Sunday were hit by stray bullets, including a 6-year-old boy who was struck in the head, said Ruqia Bano, emergency services spokeswoman in Lahore.
A 16-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy died after their throats were slashed by metal kite strings in separate incidents. Two people were electrocuted as they tried to recover kites tangled in overhead power cables, and two people fell from roofs, Bano said.

Those wacky Muslims. Can't they do anything that isn't violent and/or causes death ?

Are the people that were killed considered kite martyrs ?

Frank J at imao pondered the same thing.
As usual he's funnier than me.

Muslims + Kites = Eleven Dead

I want to understand the cultures in the Middle East. I want to get along and not look down on everyone there, but, really, how do you turn a kite festival into a massacre? You'd think with all the killing over there that they'd be looking for ways to get a break from the violence, not new creative ways to turn the most harmless things into a bloodbath.
So, it's at least eleven dead and over one hundred injured from a kite festival in Pakistan. This wasn't the first time either, as a BBC article says that nine were killed in the 2004 festival causing kites to be banned for a while in Pakistan. We all know that won't stop violence, though, as you can remove the kite from a man's hand but not the murder from his heart. He'll just get his hands on a pinwheel or a hula hoop and you have another massacre on your hands.

I think that's enough news from the Middle East for today. Anymore and I might get jaded.

UPDATE:

Before I noted how you could add "Muslims Are Offended" to any headline and it won't sound out of place, and I think we have something similar here. For any event happening in the Middle East, you can just add a casualty count to the end of headline and no one would notice. E.g. "Children's Literacy Event Held in Saudi Arabia; 12 Dead"

Five Western States To Cripple Their Economies On The Sacred Cow Of Global Warming

Five Western U.S. states have formed the latest regional pact that bypasses the Bush administration to cut emissions linked to the junk science of global warming through market mechanisms (government regulations, fines and taxes) thereby forcing businesses to flee to other states, according to Oregon's governor. Oregon, California, Washington, New Mexico and Arizona have agreed to develop a regional target for committing economic suicide in six months, according a statement from Oregon Gov. Ted Kulongoski.

During the next 18 months, the governors will devise a market-based program (government regulations, fines and taxes) , such as a load-based cap and trade program (tax and fine businesses that use power out of existence) to reach the target. The five states also have agreed to participate in a multi-state registry to track and manage greenhouse gas emissions in their region. The Western Regional Climate Action Initiative comes on the heels of an agreement in the East called the Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative To Kill The Economy that is also based on junk science and is economic suicide.

So the coasts want to commit suicide. Will you miss them ? Really ?

"With the Western states you've got a huge (soon to be diminishing) part of the U.S. economy that are beginning to regulate greenhouse gases (even though the "science" is disputed, we're going to throw our citizens under the bus to be politically correct)," said Jeremiah Baumann, an advocate with the Oregon State Public Interest In Less Jobs Research Group.

California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger recently passed the country's toughest greenhouse emissions laws which aim to reduce the state's economy-wide output of the gases by 25 percent by 2020. The California economy is expected to crash by 25 to 50 percent by 2010 under the weight of this legislation and the stupid healthcare initiative.

Monday's agreement "sets the stage for a regional cap and trade program, which will provide a powerful framework for developing a national cap and trade program that will be sure to plummet the economic outlook for the entire region," Schwarzenegger said in a statement on Monday. "This agreement shows the power of states to lead our nation addressing climate change (which has not been proven) and leading the way for high unemployment rates with no discernable impact on the environment."

The other states in the Western pact have also passed greenhouse gas and employment reduction initiatives of their own. The regional pact would allow the states to use market mechanisms (state mandated, not market driven) more efficiently (tax tax tax) to reduce output of the gases, said Baumann.

The United States initiated cap and trade programs on pollutants such as acid rain components in the early 1990s. Still wasn't enough for them.

In such markets for greenhouse gases, companies can offset their emissions by investing in clean projects like solar and wind power, or earn credits that they can sell for cutting their emissions at their factories, or move elsewhere.

In 2005, the European Union formed a cap and trade program to meet its countries' obligations under the Kyoto Protocol, which countries such as China and India are exempt from. Unlike developed countries that ratified Kyoto, the United States does not regulate carbon dioxide or other greenhouse gases. This is an outright lie. The EPA regulates all pollutants. President George W. Bush withdrew from the international pact early in his first term, saying it would hurt the economy and unfairly leave rapidly developing countries without emissions limits in its first phase. This is a deliberate misrepresentation of the facts. He didn't withdraw from Kyoto, Congress must ratify all treaties before the President can do anything. The President can not sign any treaty without congress's approval. Bill Clinton didn't sign Kyoto either for the same reason. Funny how that fact is always ignored.

Greenhouse pacts on both coasts could send a message to smokestack and transportation businesses and encourage them to lobby for a national greenhouse plan, rather than face patchwork local regulations, Baumann said. Or they could just move avoiding stupid regulations that have no scientific merit.

Like California's recent laws, the Western pact also seeks to regulate imports of electricity from dirty coal-burning power plants from surrounding states outside of the agreement. Thereby ensuring that their citizens have to pay more for power no matter where it comes from.

The seven states in the Eastern suicide regional pact, which include New York and Massachusetts, aim to cut carbon dioxide emissions at power plants by 10 percent by 2019 and economic growth by more than twice that in half the time.

Who is going to say they are for carbon dioxide emissions ?

Kewl Motorcycle

Hella Kewl ! Don't know how comfortable it would be to ride.




















Hat Tip: Fark

Boortz On Global Warming

I saw this post at Nealz Nuze a couple weeks ago and meant to link to it then. It's such a good whack on the back of the head, I thought I'd post the whole thing.

WHY AM I SKEPTICAL ABOUT MAN-MADE GLOBAL WARMING ?

A 21-page report from something called the "Intergovernmental Panel On Climate Change" has been released today... in Paris, no less...and as expected, it's predictions are dire. According to the report: "Warming of the climate system is unequivocal, as is now evident from observations of increases in global average air and ocean temperatures, widespread melting of snow and ice, and rising global mean sea level." Yeah right...we've heard all this before.

But the biggest bombshell here is this one: no matter what we do, global warming will not be reversed. It will go on for centuries, according to this report. The sea levels will continue to rise as polar ice caps melt. So I guess if Al Gore wins his Nobel Peace Prize, we'll still experience global warming. So much for riding to work everyday in your hybrid car...it's not doing a thing. The situation is futile, according to this report.

But really, it makes sense that the global warming crowd would come to this conclusion. After all, global warming is a religion. The anti-capitalist enviro-nazis don't ever want the problem to be solved. After all, if global warming were to be solved tomorrow, what would they blame the United States for? They'd have to find some other reason.

Sorry .. I'm still a skeptic. In no particular order here are just a few of the reasons why I'm not buying this man-made global warming scare:

• The United Nations is anti-American and anti-Capitalist. In short .. I don't trust them. Not a bit. The UN would eagerly engage in any enterprise that would weaken capitalist economies around the world.



• Because after the fall of the Soviet Union and worldwide Communism many in the anti-capitalist movement moved to the environmental movement to continue pursuing their anti-free enterprise goals. Many of the loudest proponents of man-made global warming today are confirmed anti-capitalists.



• Because the sun is warmer .. and all of these scientists don't seem to be willing to credit a warmer sun with any of the blame for global warming.



• The polar ice caps on Mars are melting. How did our CO2 emissions get all the way to Mars?



• It was warmer in the 1930s across the globe than it is right now.



• It wasn't all that long ago that these very same scientists were warning us about "global cooling" and another approaching ice age ?



• How much has the earth warmed up in the last 100 years? One degree. Now that's frightening.



• Because that famous "hockey stick" graph that purports to show a sudden warming of the earth in the last few decades is a fraud. It ignored previous warming periods ... left them off the graph altogether.



• The infamous Kyoto accords exempt some of the world's biggest CO2 polluters, including China and India.



• The Kyoto accords can easily be seen as nothing less than an attempt to hamstring the world's dominant capitalist economies.



• Because many of these scientists who are sounding the global warming scare depend on grant money for their livelihood, and they know the grant money dries up when they stop preaching the global warming sermon.



• Because global warming "activists" and scientists seek to punish those who have different viewpoints. If you are sure of your science you have no need to shout down or seek to punish those who disagree.



• What happened to the Medieval Warm Period? In 1996 the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change issued a chart showing climatic change over a period of 1000 years. This graph showed a Medieval warming period in which global temperatures were higher than they are today. In 2001 the IPCC issued another 1000 year graph in which the Medieval warming period was missing. Why?



• Why has one scientist promoting the cause of man-made global warming been quoted as saying "we have to get rid of the medieval warming period?"



• Why is the ice cap on the Antarctic getting thicker if the earth is getting warmer?



• In the United State, the one country with the most accurate temperature measuring and reporting records, temperatures have risen by 0.3 degrees centigrade over the past 100 years. The UN estimate is twice that.



• There are about 160,000 glaciers around the world. Most have never been visited or measured by man. The great majority of these glaciers are growing, not melting.



• Side-looking radar interferometry shows that the ice mass in the West Antarctic is growing at a rate of over 26 gigatons a year. This reverses a melting trend that had persisted for the previous 6,000 years.



• Rising sea levels? The sea levels have been rising since the last ice age ended. That was 12,000 years ago. Estimates are that in that time the sea level has risen by over 300 feet. The rise in our sea levels has been going on long before man started creating anything but natural CO2 emissions.



• Like Antarctica, the interior of Greenland is gaining ice mass.



• Over the past 3,000 years there have been five different extended periods when the earth was measurably warmer than it is today.



• During the last 20 years -- a period of the highest carbon dioxide levels -- global temperatures have actually decreased. That's right ... decreased.



• Why did a reporter from National Public Radio refuse to interview David Deming, an associate professor at the University of Oklahoma studying global warming, after his testimony to the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee unless Deming would state that global warming was being caused by man?



• Why are global warming proponents insisting that the matter is settled and that no further scientific research is needed? Why are they afraid of additional information?



• On July 24, 1974 Time Magazine published an article entitled "Another Ice Age?" Here's the first paragraph:
  
  "As they review the bizarre and unpredictable weather pattern of the past several years, a growing number of scientists are beginning to suspect that many seemingly contradictory meteorological fluctuations are actually part of a global climatic upheaval. However widely the weather varies from place to place and time to time, when meteorologists take an average of temperatures around the globe they find that the atmosphere has been growing gradually cooler for the past three decades. The trend shows no indication of reversing. Climatological Cassandras are becoming increasingly apprehensive, for the weather aberrations they are studying may be the harbinger of another ice age."
  

Hey ... I could go on. There's much more where that came from. But I need to get ready to go on the air. Just know that many of the strongest proponents of this "man-made" global warming stuff are dedicated opponents to capitalism and don't feel all that warm and fuzzy about the United States.

Aftermath Of Global Warming Induced Northeast Snow Storm, From Space

Click on the pic to enlarge.

Snow over the Northeast United States
After a late-winter snow and ice storm (caused by Global Warming), the clouds over the Northeast United States cleared on February 19, 2007, affording the Moderate Resolution Imaging Spectroradiometer (MODIS) on NASA’s Terra satellite this stunning view of the brown and white landscape. Snow stretches from Maine to Virginia, highlighting the curving folds of the Appalachian Mountains, branch-like rivers and streams, and the solid white smoothness of frozen lakes. Beautiful though the snow is, it trapped hundreds of motorists in eastern Pennsylvania, shut down some air and train travel, closed businesses and schools, triggered power outages, and caused 15 deaths, reported CNN on February 15.

Hat Tip: Fark

Qatar, Oman and The UAE Will Allow Israeli Air Force Through To Iran

Green Light For Israeli Attack ?

Three Arab states in the Persian Gulf would be willing to allow the Israel Air force to enter their airspace in order to reach Iran in case of an attack on its nuclear facilities, the Kuwaiti newspaper Al-Siyasa reported on Sunday.

According to the report, a diplomat from one of the gulf states visiting Washington on Saturday said the three states, Qatar, Oman and the United Arab Emirates, have told the United States that they would not object to Israel using their airspace, despite their fear of an Iranian response.

Even the members of the Dar al-Islam fear the welcomers of the Twelfth Imam more than they fear the Zionist regime.

3 Gulf states agree to IAF overflights en route to Iran.

Al-Siyasa further reported that NATO leaders are urging Turkey to open its airspace for an Attack on Iran as well and to also open its airports and borders in case of a ground attack.
According to a British diplomat who spoke to an Al-Siyasa correspondent, Turkey will not repeat the mistake it made in 2003, when it refused to open its airspace to U.S. Air Force overflights en route to attacking Iraq.

British newspaper The Daily Telegraph reported Saturday that Israel is negotiating with the U.S. over permission for an "air corridor" over Iraq, should an attack on Iran's nuclear facilities become necessary.

We (Being The United States) no longer have the will to strike our enemies thanks in large part to the MSM and the DemocRats. Israel must strike on our behalf. Indeed on behalf of the world. God speed Israel.

Hat Tip: Drunken Blogging.

Adult Swim On Global Warming

Adult Swim On Global Warming (Windows Media Viewer 725 KB).

Islamic Terrorist Squirrel Attacks Continue In Lynchburg

Lynchburg, Va. - Audrey Hudgins never saw it coming, but then, who would have?

Hudgins, a sophomore at Randolph-Macon Woman’s College, was sitting on a bench outside the campus’ Main Hall on Tuesday when an apparently peaceful Muslim squirrel crawled up her leg and sat in her lap.

“They come close to you, they’re really friendly, but they don’t climb on you,” Hudgins said Wednesday.

Peaceful Muslim Squirrel
This is a common tactic with Islamic Terrorist Squirrels. They get you to lower your guard by claiming to be peaceful, wearing those cute little bow ties of theirs. Looking all civilized and such, engaging in polite conversation, being articulate and what not... then attack !

To Hudgins’ surprise, the squirrel — described as an infamous chowhound named Toby, (who recently converted to Islam and now goes by the name Sayid Subhy Shihab Squirrel) — snatched a piece of the strawberry Nutri-Grain bar she was holding.

“I said to myself, ‘That doesn’t happen every day.’”

But when Toby went back for a second bite it locked on, and bit through Hudgins’ right thumbnail.

At that point, the communications major said she tried to unlatch the Muslim squirrel by beating it against the bench. “What else do you do in that situation?” she asked. “There’s no stop, drop and roll.”

It turns out beating muslims against a bench is an effective counter-terrorism tactic.

After Hudgins shook Toby (Sayid Subhy Shihab Squirrel) off, she sat in shock.

“He’s looking at me, I’m looking at him,” (The wind blows... tumble weeds fly past... theme from The Good, The Bad And The Ugly plays in the background...) she said of the moment just before the jihadist squirrel grabbed the Nutri-Grain bar that she had dropped during the struggle and ran off screaming "Allah Akbar !"

It is unknown if there was any connection to the Islamic Suicide Arsonist Squirrel that burned a house down in Lynchburg.

Islamic Terrorist Squirrel Burns Down House

Squirrel Power

Lynchburg, Va - An Islamic Suicide Arsonist Squirrel is likely the culprit for a fire in Lynchburg that left a family of five temporarily homeless Tuesday afternoon.
Angela Harvey found out about the fire when her husband called her at work. He said there was a small fire in the attic of their Monroe Street home.
“I had never been in the attic,” Harvey said on Wednesday. “I wondered what could have possibly caused the fire.”
When she got home, she found heavy fire damage to the upstairs bedrooms. Firefighters told her that an Islamic Terrorist Squirrel had chewed through some live wires in the attic and electrocuted itself, sparking the blaze.

Global Warming Causes 35 Cars To Collide In Colorado

Denver - A large, fast-moving snowstorm caused by global warming, closed sections of major highways in the Plains on Saturday and threatened to dump more than a foot of snow on the Upper Midwest.
Interstate 70, a major cross-country route, was closed for about 200 miles in both directions from just east of Denver to Colby, Kan., because of blowing snow and slippery pavement, according to Colorado and Kansas highway officials.
Between Denver and the beginning of the highway closure, about 35 cars collided in a pileup in whiteout conditions Saturday morning on an icy section of I-70. No major injuries were reported.
The weather service reported wind gusts of 68 mph in the Denver area.
A number of other highways also were closed in the two states.
"Basically there's zero visibility at this time," Kansas Department of Transportation spokeswoman Barb Blue said just before noon. "Travel is not recommended unless
absolutely necessary. Stupid global warming."
A stretch of about 125 miles of I-80 was closed in both directions in western Nebraska, from Ogallala to the Wyoming line. Wind gusting to 52 mph drove wet snow. "It's nasty," said Carol McKain of the Nebraska State Patrol.
Farther east, a 30-mile stretch of U.S. 275 was closed in Nebraska because of flooding. There was no power in parts of North Platte, Neb., where "the snow is so wet it's sticking to power poles and power lines," said Bill Taylor of the National Weather Service office in North Platte.
Flights continued operating Saturday at Denver International Airport, where thousands of travelers were stalled by a 45-hour shutdown during a pre-Christmas blizzard. The airport was on the western edge of the area of heavy snow and had only about an inch by late morning, spokesman Chuck Cannon said.
In addition to the snow on the western Plains, the vast storm system spread rain and thunderstorms across parts of Arkansas, Oklahoma and Missouri, with locally heavy snow across Iowa and southern Minnesota.
The weather service posted blizzard and winter storm warnings for parts of Colorado, Kansas, Nebraska, South Dakota, Iowa, Minnesota and Wisconsin.
Up to 16 inches of snow was possible by late Sunday in Minnesota, which would be the biggest snowfall so far in an unusually dry winter for that state, the weather service said.
Officials advised against unnecessary travel in southwestern Minnesota, where roads already were slippery from heavy sleet and freezing rain that fell during the night.
One traffic death had been blamed on the storm in Wisconsin.

Islamic Terrorist Squirrel Attacks Resume In Moutain View Park

Camouflaged Squirrel



Hayley Allard

Mountain View, Ca - “He thought I was stealing his chips when he was stealing my chips!” That’s how four-year-old Hayley Allard described what happened Thursday when an Islamic Terrorist Squirrel attacked her in Mountain View’s Cuesta Park.

“He was getting my Sun Chips. I reached over to get them and he jumped right in my face and started scratching it,” the girl said.

"All your chips are belong to us !" exclaimed Suhayb Majd Squirrel. "It is by the will of Allah that I demand jizya from you in the form of chips !"

“It was frightening,” said her mother, Debbie Allard. “It was a very scary thing to have happened. It was traumatizing.”

Islamic Terrorist Squirrels in Cuesta Park have attacked at least 20 people since last spring in an ongoing Jihad. Hayley had to get a tetanus shot. Her doctor decided she didn’t need one for rabies. There are signs in the children’s play area warning about aggressive Islamic squirrels and prohibiting food (especially pork), but the Allard family doesn’t feel that’s practical.

“You can put up signs and you can tell people not to have things, but when you have more than one person, like if you have two small children, it’s really hard to do a full body search on everybody to make sure there’s no food,” said Dave Allard, Hayley’s father.

The city has placed traps throughout the park using strollers as part of the bait system, but so far has only caught one squirrel, now considered a martyr by the other squirrels. "He is an ispiration to the rest of the Mujahideen." said Mohammed Shakil Squirrel. "Allāhu Akbar !". The Allards want the children’s play area shut down and fenced off until all the aggressive Islamic squirrels are trapped. While parents at the park are surprised to hear about the latest attacks, many don’t want to see the play area closed off.

“That’s a little too drastic. Everybody’s playing here, a lot of people,” said Dennis Kanyga of Mountain View.

“I think the ultimate responsibility is up to who’s here with the children,” said Los Altos resident Kyuri Doeden, who was at the park with her son.

Mountain View’s community services director told CBS 5 by phone the park will remain open, but the Allard family doesn’t plan to come back.

“I don’t think it’s a safe place for children to be in until they solve this Muslim problem,” said Debbie Allard.

City officials said park visitors created the problem when they fed the squirrels. The Muslims are now so brazen, they look to infidels for food and will attack to get it.


"The park is part of Dar al-Islam and as such is subject to sharia ! We demand chips from the infidels !" exclaimed Sheikh Khalid Squirrel.

Zoo Tiger Mauls Child To Death

Beijing - A six-year-old girl was mauled to death by a performing tiger at a zoo in China as she was being photographed with the animal, state press said
on Friday.
The attack occurred on Thursday at the Kunming Zoo in Yunnan province. The animal lunged at the girl's head when a flashbulb went off as the child was being photographed, the Kunming Daily reported.
The tiger held the child's head in its mouth for over a minute as frantic trainers beat the animal with clubs and a chair, trying to force it to let go of the girl, identified as Rui Xin.
She was rushed to hospital, where she was pronounced dead with a crushed skull. Her mother was also bitten on the arm.
The male tiger had been performing at the zoo since May 2005, the paper said. Visitors paid 15 yuan (around $2) for a photo with the animal.

You know why the tiger did that ?
'cause it's a tiger.

No word on how the picture came out.

Police Seize 280 Rare Pangolins

Pangolin Pup

Bangkok- Thai border policemen have seized 280 rare pangolins in southern Thailand but the man transporting them got away, officials said Saturday.
The pangolins, a rare scaly ant-eating mammal found in tropical Asia and Africa, were probably bound for cooking pots in China where they are considered an aphrodisiac and thought to increase longevity, officials said.

Is there anything the Chinese don't eat as an aphrodisiac ? Why don't they just take viagra like everyone else ? It's a lot less work.
They do look kinda yummy though...

They were most likely smuggled from Indonesia through Malaysia and found in Songkhla Province, 700 kilometres south of Bangkok, and worth at least 5 million baht (150,000 dollars).

That's a lot of baht, that'll buy a lot of beer.

Police said they will give the pangolins, based on the Malaya word that means "something that rolls up", to the Forest Department in hopes they can release them back into the wild.

Stupid Global Warming Repairs Update

Well, I've gotten through fixing posts up to Sunday, September 18, 2005. My links were broken from that ice storm caused by stupid global warming that had my power out for a week. It's getting there. On the plus side the new blogger seems to load the site much faster. I love the labels feature, makes cross-referencing a snap and people can browse topics that they're interested in. Sweet. I hope to have the site repaired by next week if stupid global warming doesn't dump more ice on me. CYA L8R !

Bush: I'll Bring Troops Home On JetBlue

Under increased pressure to announce an exit strategy from Iraq, President George W. Bush revealed plans today to bring U.S. troops home on the budget airlines JetBlue.

Mr. Bush received praise for his decision to withdraw American troops, but his choice of JetBlue to transport them raised more than a few eyebrows.

According to most official estimates, with its recent spate of scheduling problems and flight delays, JetBlue could take up to seven years to bring U.S. troops home, and possibly ten years in the event of inclement weather.

But at a press conference at the White House today, the president argued that the selection of Jet Blue was "crucial" to the success of his latest exit strategy.

"Setting an exact timetable for a withdrawal from Iraq would be playing right into the enemy's hands," Mr. Bush said. "By going with JetBlue, our enemy will have no idea when we're leaving."

To emphasizes his point, Mr. Bush added, "And neither will we."

Across Iraq, U.S. GIs were hopeful that the news about JetBlue meant that they would be home by Christmas, or at least by Easter 2012.

At JetBlue headquarters in Forest Hills, New York, CEO David Neeleman said that it was "flattering" to be chosen to play such a critical role in President Bush's new exit strategy, but wondered if his embattled airlines has what it takes to bring troops home from Iraq.

"We're still having a hard time getting people home to Fort Myers," Mr. Neeleman said.

Elsewhere, Britain and Denmark announced that they were joining "The Coalition of the Leaving."

Found Over At: YubaNet

First Beaver Spotted In NYC In 200 Years

José The Beaver

They wrote a song about him. It goes something like, "José can you see, by the dawn's early light ?""

Beavers grace New York City's official seal. But the industrious rodents have not been seen in the flesh here for as many as 200 years - until this week.

Biologists videotaped a beaver swimming up the Bronx River on Wednesday. Its twig-and-mud lodge had been spotted earlier on the river bank, but the tape confirmed the presence of the animal itself.

"It had to happen because beaver populations are expanding, and their habitats are shrinking," said Dietland Muller-Schwarze, a beaver expert at the State University of New York College of Environmental Science and Forestry in Syracuse. "We're probably going to see more of them in the future."

Beavers gnawed out a prominent place in the city's early days as a European settlement, attracting fur traders to a nascent Manhattan. The animal appears in the city seal to symbolize a Dutch trading company that factored in the city's colonial beginnings, according to the city's Web site.

But amid heavy trapping, beavers disappeared from the city in the early 1800s, according to the city Parks & Recreation Department.

The beaver that has made its way to the Bronx appears to be a male, several feet (a meter) long and two or three years old, said Patrick Thomas, the mammals curator at the nearby Bronx Zoo.

Biologists have nicknamed the animal "Jose," as a tribute to U.S. Rep. Jose Serrano's work to revive the river. The Bronx Democrat lined up federal money for a cleanup.

"But I don't know to what extent I imagined things living in it again," he said.

Beaver returns to New York City

“Having beavers back in the Bronx River is certainly one of our proudest achievements,” said Linda Cox, Bronx River Administrator for the New York City Parks Department and executive director of the Bronx River Alliance, which was created in 2001 to help restore and protect the Bronx River corridor and greenway. “It’s proof positive that our efforts to bring the river back to ecological health have been successful. We look forward to beaver watching in the spring!”

I look forward to it too Ms. Cox.

Feel free to make your own sophomoric jokes.

Vilsack Drops Out Of Presidential Race

Tom Vilsack

I turned to my co-worker and said, "Vilsack's dropped out of the Presidential race."
He said, "Who ?"
I said, "Exactly."

He couldn't compete with the three ring circus of Clinton/Obama/Edwards.

Now that he's cut and run from the race, he should be up in the polls. DemocRats love quitters.

Chalk Another One Up For The Infidels

Mahmoud Abu Abuyed, Ex-Terrorist

Undercover Border Policemen kill Jenin-area Islamic Jihad chief

Undercover Border Police troops killed an Islamic Jihad commander in the West Bank town of Jenin on Wednesday, one day after a suicide bombing attempt he allegedly ordered was thwarted in Tel Aviv.

The slain man terrorist was identified as Mahmoud Abu Ubayed, 24, commander of Islamic Jihad in areas near Jenin. Witnesses said Abu Ubayed was driving his car (minding his own business) near the Yihya Ayyash Square in Jenin when undercover troops in civilian clothing surprised him and sprayed the vehicle with bullets. (surprise !) The square was named for a Hamas bombing mastermind killed in an Israeli-ordered attack in 1996.

The Israel Defense Forces commander of the Jenin area, Lieutenant General Hertsi Halevi, said Abu Ubayed was the Islamic Jihad's leading explosives expert, and that recently the IDF had been making a concerted effort to arrest him due to the fact that he had significantly improved the (terrorist) organization's bomb-making capability.

Abu Ubayed was also the one who announced that the Islamic Jihad was behind Tuesday's failed suicide bombing attempt in Tel Aviv.

According to Halevi, the undercover troops followed Abu Ubayed's car, but Abu Ubayed noticed them and aimed his weapon at them. The Border Policemen then opened fire from a distance of four meters.

Palestinian Authority police officers who arrived at the scene were disarmed by the border policemen.

Islamic Jihad on Wednesday vowed retaliation for Ubayed's killing.

"The Zionist enemy's crimes and killing will not effect our resistance program and God willing today's crime will not pass without revenge and revenge will be soon," the group said.

Killing terrorists isn't a crime, it's a sport.

The planned large-scale attack in the Tel Aviv area was prevented Tuesday when police and security forces arrested an Islamic Jihad militant terrorist and his partners at an apartment in Bat Yam.

According to the IDF, Abu Ubayed dispatched the suspected bomber, a resident of a village near Jenin. Islamic Jihad last carried out a suicide attack in Israel on January 29, when three people were killed in the Red Sea resort of Eilat.

The bomber caught had given Ubayed's name during interrogation, Army Radio reported. The IDF said that Ubayed had supplied the bomber with the explosives.

The suspect told police where the explosive device he was supposed to use in the attack was located and the bomb squad found the large device in a garbage can in the center of Rishon Letzion.

The United States has placed a bounty on the head of Islamic Jihad, Ramadan Shalah, based in Damascus, and the organization has warned that if its leader is harmed it will also target American interests.

When did they stop targeting American interests?

Hat Tip: Power Line

You Can Beat Them But It Does No Good

Elkhart In - Mother Accused of Beating 9-Year-Old's Head into Brick Wall in Front of Teacher.

A 9-year-old boy was in protective custody after his mother slapped him and hit his head against a brick wall in front of a teacher, then dragged him in front of the class and invited his classmates to make fun of him, police said.

The incident started Tuesday when the boy's mother was called to Hawthorne Elementary for a disciplinary problem, Elkhart police Cpl. Frank Owens said. The teacher and the boy were outside the classroom waiting for her.

The mother told the teacher she beats the boy but it does no good, Owens said. When she asked the teacher if she could go to jail for beating the boy, the teacher answered yes.

According to police, the mother replied: "I don't care who sees it."

Police say she then slapped the boy and pounded his head repeatedly into a brick wall.

The teacher tried to intervene by allowing the boy to return to the classroom, but the mother dragged her son into the room. In front of his classmates, she pulled on his lip and invited the students to make fun of his teeth, police said.

She jerked his arm and tried to embarrass the boy, Owens said. The teacher ordered the woman to leave.

When police arrived, the boy's face was bruised and his lip was bleeding and his mother already had left. The boy was placed in a foster home. No charges have been filed, and police are still investigating, Detective Lt. Peggy Snider said Thursday.

Police Say Mother Beat Child at School

What's Wrong With "High Maintenance Bitch" ?

High Maintenance Bitch

So here we have a bunch of bitches bitching about the word bitch.

Seattle, Wa - Dog Store Sign Angers Seattle Residents

A newly opened store catering to very pampered dogs, especially female dogs, is getting more than questioning looks for its name, High Maintenance Bitch.

Yes, the web site is www.highmaintenancebitch.com.

The third word in the sign is widely visible at North 45th Street and Wallingford Avenue North, one of the main intersections in the Wallingford neighborhood business west of Interstate 5 and north of the Lake Washington Ship Canal.

"I am probably the most progressive liberal person in the world and I am personally offended by the sign," said Janet Stillman, executive director of the Wallingford Neighborhood Office. "It's so blatant and so in your face."

The sign is the issue more than products such as Gel-ous Bitch bath gel and Street Walker paw cleanser, said Kara Ceriello, co-president of the Wallingford Chamber of Commerce.

Ceriello said she supports the store but has heard complaints from about a dozen people.

"It is going to be a hot issue again when we get to our Wallingford Kiddie Parade and Street Fair," she said.

Stillman said the sign could wreck family photographs of the parade, scheduled for July 7.

That's why God made PhotoShop.

"Walk by there with your 5-year-old and try to explain why that sign is there. Half of the sign is made up of the word 'bitch.'"

Making no apologies, co-founder Lori Pacchiano, 36, said she planned to meet with the chamber Thursday. Meanwhile, she and her brother, Ryan Pacchiano, 27, hope to made (nice English) the business name as commonplace in shopping areas as Victoria's Secret.

Over the next three years they hope to open 10 stores at a cost of about $200,000 each.

"Our company is probably the most high-end pet brand in the world," Pacchiano said. "We want to be known for growing from Seattle."

In the process, she said, one of her goals is to reclaim the word in its original meaning, a female dog, as opposed to a derogatory term for a woman.

"Our store is a dog store, but the concept and philosophy is directed specifically toward women," she said.

High-end dog shop's sign raises neighbors' hackles

Saleswoman Kara Tunner applies a dab of glitter to the nose of Suzanne Hansen's Italian greyhound, Annie.

Glitter ? Is this bitch a dancer ?

Hear Boy !

Jasmine The Dog

GIG HARBOR, Wash. - Groomer accused of cutting off dog's ear, then gluing it back on. Holy shih tzu !

A Pierce County woman claims her dog groomer clipped a part of her dog's ear, then tried to cover it up by gluing it back on.

Annie Sherffius says she took her two-year-old shih tzu, Jasmine, to J'Rae's Pet Grooming in Gig Harbor just before Christmas to be groomed.

Nearly two weeks later, Sherffius says Jasmine appeared sick and was howling in the middle of the night.

"And I never heard a dog cry like this. I never did," she said.

She rubbed Jasmine's head to calm her and noticed her ear felt like cardboard. Sherffius grabbed some water to soak the ear and, to her surprise, part of the ear floated way.

Pierce County Sheriff's Office spokesman Ed Troyer explains why this could be treated as a case of animal cruelty.

"If this was an accident and somebody did it, and they were to stop and call the owner and say 'look what happened, I'm sorry,' call a vet, bring the dog, get it treated - that's different than taking glue and gluing the ear back on and trying to hide it." he said.

J'Rae's grooming is now closed. The business shut down a few weeks ago and the building is now empty.

Sherffius' vet told her reconstructive surgery is possible for Jasmine's ear. But Sherffius says she's not interested, because Jasmine has already been through enough.

Investigators say they've talked to the pet groomer, but can't prove anything.

And while the groomer has admitted nothing, she did tell investigators that she's looking to get into a new line of work.

That would probably be for the best.

Groomer won't face charges for dog's severed ear

An unlicensed dog groomer who is accused of cutting off a dog's ear and gluing it back on will not face criminal charges.

The groomer at J'Rae's Professional Pet Grooming in Gig Harbor, was cited last week with operating without a business license. Her case will be presented before a Pierce County District Court judge, said Pierce County sheriff's Detective Ed Troyer.

Anni Sherffius said 2-year-old Shih Tzu, Jasmine, started acted strange after her December grooming session. Sheriffius said the dog's ear it came off when she soaked it with water. A veterinarian suspected the groomer had cut off Jasmine's ear and then glued it back on, Sherffius said.

Troyer said the groomer denied cutting the dog's ear and couldn't be charged because there was not enough evidence. The groomer has left the dog grooming business, he said.

Sherffius said she's happy the woman is no longer in the business.

Jasmine's Ear.jpg

No word on if the ear will be sold on eBay.

Verizon Can't Do Math

Click on the pic to enlarge

Verizon Can't Do Math

Audio Hat Tip: Geek Girl Files

Check Image Hat Tip: Mike

Got Some Time To Kill ?

Bad Example has some great time wasting links !

Now go waste some time.

But only if you're at work.


Found at Bad Example.

Extra The Cat

Extra

Move over Little Twelvetoes.

Extra the kitten has been aptly named by her owners - she has 26 toes that give her a distinct advantage over her naturally climbing moggie mates.

Her human family noticed there was something different with the three-month-old kitten when she started scratching more than other cats.

You would sort of want to wear boxing gloves when you play with her," says Kaelene Gerrard, who lives with her partner Eli Eliu and daughters Mercy, six, and 12-year-old Shardae.

She examined the frisky feline's paws and did a double take at what she found.

"We counted and then recounted but we had it right the first time," she says.

You can't blame them for recounting, they went to public school.

Extra has seven toes on each front paw and six toes on each back paw - instead of the normal five on each.

"Her mum Star is a normal cat but her grandmother had six toes on each paw as well and so does her brother. But we've never even heard of a kitten with seven toes on each front paw," says Kaelene.

"Extra's a good climber and runs really fast.

"We won't have to worry about her too much because she will sure be able to look after herself."

Staff at Glendowie Veterinary Clinic in Auckland say Extra's trait is relatively common and an inherited genetic condition called polydactyly.

Polly ? Polly Dactyly ? We went to High School together ! Small world huh ?

"Cats with this genetic trait are often very placid.

"I have seen some cases, but not too many, with 26 toes. How fast and well will that cat climb?"

Some cat owners say the innermost extra toes on the front paws are often opposable and some use them with quite startling proficiency to manipulate small objects with almost human dexterity.

Others joke that because of that condition their animals are more intelligent, while others feel their pets represent the next stage in feline evolution - the ability to open cartons and cans unaided.

Or wage global Jihad !

In times past, cats with polydactyly were favoured ship cats and were considered to be the preferred familiars of witches.

Richard Simmons - Slap Happy

Slap Happy

You'd Better Not Mess With Richard Simmons, even if you are a six foot one, two hundred and fifty five pound Harley dealer.

Seeing how I was on the topic of Richard Simmons.

From The Smoking Gun.

Simmons Steamer

Simmons Steamer 5 MB Windows Media Player

Hat Tip: Jeff

Peaceful Muslim Father Killed Family For Being Too Western

Riaz family

A father killed his wife and four daughters in their sleep because he could not bear them adopting a more westernised lifestyle, an inquest heard yesterday.
Mohammed Riaz, 49, found it abhorrent that his eldest daughter wanted to be a fashion designer, and that she and her sisters were likely to reject the Muslim tradition of arranged marriages.

On Hallowe'en last year he sprayed petrol throughout their terraced home in Accrington, Lancs, and set it alight.

Caneze Riaz, 39, woke and tried to protect her three-year-old child, Hannah, who was sleeping with her, but was overcome by fumes. Her other daughters, Sayrah, 16, Sophia, 13, and Alisha, 10, died elsewhere in the house.

Riaz, who had spent the evening drinking, set himself on fire and died two days later.

Wait a tic. I thought good Muslims were supposed to stay away from alcohol. Sure, according to the Koran it's fine for good Muslims to kill their families, but drink ?

Clockwise from top left: Caneze Riaz with daughters Sayrah, Alisha and Sophia.
Relatives broke the news to the couple's son, Adam, 17, as he lay terminally ill with cancer at the Christie Hospital, Manchester. He died six weeks later.

Killing them in their sleep. Such a brave Muslim. I'm sure Allah's proud.

Hat Tip: Michelle Malkin

Swordsman's Claim Disputed

The pornographic DVD that was being played in an Oconomowoc apartment doesn't square with a man's claim that he thought he heard a rape in progress before storming into the residence with a sword, a prosecutor said Wednesday.

"Does hearing the sounds of consensual sex under these kinds of circumstances indicate that a crime may have been occurring? Obviously, the Oconomowoc police thought not," Waukesha County Assistant District Attorney Kevin Osborne said.

As for kicking in the door while armed with a sword, Osborne said, "Was that a reasonable response? It's reported that he pounded on the door and kicked it in before the man had a chance to open it. That doesn't appear to have been a reasonable reaction to me."

"If he disagrees, we can take it to trial," Osborne said. "That's why we have trials."

Or you could duel with swords.

Van Iveren's neighbor, Bret Stieghorst, said Wednesday that he believed Van Iveren was doing what he thought was the right thing in kicking in the door to his apartment and didn't care about the charges that were filed, except damage to property.

"He did kick in my door, so he should get charged with that," said Stieghorst, 33, who works full time and is a student at Waukesha County Technical College. "But he really didn't do anything except what he thought was right. I don't know what I would have done in that situation."

But if Van Iveren was attempting to rescue what he thought was a woman in danger he was "obnoxiously late," said Stieghorst, who said he watched the movie between 1 and 2:30 a.m., but Van Iveren did not burst into his apartment until about 11:30 a.m.

When he told Van Iveren that he was going to call the police, Van Iveren ran out the door of the apartment and down the stairs, and Stieghorst said he followed him. It was only when they got to the bottom of the stairs, and Van Iveren ducked into the door of another apartment, that he realized Van Iveren was his neighbor, he said.

Stieghorst, who said he has lived in his small downtown apartment for five years, said he was watching an adult DVD in Spanish called "Casa de Culo." He said the movie has no screaming that would suggest to someone a woman was in danger.

"It's all in Spanish, and I don't understand a word of it," he said. "I only bought it for the hot chicks."

I usually buy porn for the riviting dialog.

Van Iveren, 39, of Oconomowoc, was charged by Osborne last week with one count each of criminal trespass while using a dangerous weapon, criminal damage to property while using a dangerous weapon and disorderly conduct while using a dangerous weapon.

Van Iveren told a reporter Tuesday that he distinctly heard a woman screaming while he was listening to music in his first floor apartment on the morning of Feb. 11. When the screams persisted over an extended period, he concluded that a rape was taking place in the apartment above his, so he decided to intervene, according to Van Iveren.

Van Iveren said he grabbed an heirloom sword, raced up a staircase to the apartment above him and kicked in the door, expecting to find a woman being raped. He said he left after the neighbor showed him that he was alone in the apartment.

Osborne said Wednesday that the case was unusual.

I guess I'd call it a unique set of circumstances," he said.

Gee, ya think ?

Osborne said, though, that it would be a mistake to let Van Iveren off the hook merely because he says he was mistaken.

"You can't just make up an excuse for your behavior and expect to avoid consequences," he said.

Stieghorst said the incident will not change his movie-viewing habits.

"No, way; I'm a man and I'm a normal person," he said. "But I think I will get some good headphones, maybe some wireless ones."

That would probably be a good idea.

Ironic

Severe Weather Drill Postponed Because of Bad Weather

ATLANTA (AP) -- State officials have postponed the severe weather drill planned for today because of bad weather. The drill is now scheduled for Friday.

A spokesman for the Georgia Emergency Management Agency -- Ken Davis -- says the statewide drill is a chance for schools, families and local governments to practice responding to a weather emergency.

The drill is planned as part of Severe Weather Awareness Week.

What Are You Giving Up For Lent ?

I'm giving up hope.

Ninja Tries To Rob Store

Richfield, Minn. police are looking for a man who attempted to rob a Lunds grocery store in Richfield Saturday evening dressed as a ninja.

According to authorities, the suspect entered the store at about 10:30 p.m. dressed in skin-tight black clothing and armed with a samurai-style sword.

The suspect stood in line before he demanded the cashier turn over the money in the register, reportedly waving his sword in the air.

The cashier and other customers inside thought the suspect was pulling a prank. The cashier refused to give the suspect the money and he fled the scene.

Richfield Police were called. They searched the neighborhood for the suspect but he managed to slip away into the night in the manner of a ninja.

Sword-wielding 'ninja' attempts to rob Richfield grocery store

Can't A Guy Enjoy His Porn Without Having His Neighbor Break Down The Door And Wave A Sword In His Face ?

Bret "Monkey Spanker" Stieghorst.



James "Butch Coolidge" Van Iveren

Oconomowoc, Wis. - According to the police report, officers were called to a residence in the 100 block of North Main Street after a man kicked in his neighbor's door and threatened him with a sword. The caller said the subject lived downstairs with his mother.
Police made contact with the neighbor, a 39-year-old man, who told them he heard a woman screaming from upstairs and feared she was being sexually assaulted.
The subject said he grabbed the 39-inch sword, went upstairs and kicked in the door to investigate. He repeatedly asked his neighbor "Where is she?" and made him open a closet, and searched the apartment looking for a woman in distress.
The victim told his neighbor, and later showed police the evidence, that the noise came from a pornographic movie he was watching.
According to the police report, the subject said he got the sword from his father, who had it in the armed forces. There was German writing etched on the blade of the sword.

Video Interview

Porn DVD Screams Prompt Sword 'Rescue'

A man says he broke into an apartment with a cavalry sword because he thought he heard a woman being raped, but the sound actually was from a pornographic movie his upstairs neighbor was watching.

"Now I feel stupid," said James Van Iveren, who has been charged in the case. "This really is nothing, nothing but a mistake."

According to a criminal complaint, the neighbor told police that Van Iveren pounded on the door and kicked it open without warning Feb. 12, damaging the frame and lock.

"Where is she?" Van Iveren demanded, thrusting the sword at the neighbor, the complaint said. "Where is she?"

The neighbor told police Van Iveren became increasingly aggressive as he repeated the question, insisting that he had heard a woman being raped. The complaint said that, with the sword pointed at him, the neighbor led Van Iveren throughout the apartment, opening closet doors to prove he was alone.

The neighbor later played for police the part of the DVD he believed Van Iveren heard downstairs.

Van Iveren, 39, of Oconomowoc, was charged with criminal trespass, criminal damage and disorderly conduct, all while using a dangerous weapon, and is due in court March 5. Together, the misdemeanor counts carry a maximum sentence of 33 months in jail.

Van Iveren said Tuesday that he heard a woman "screaming for help," grabbed the sword, bounded up the stairs, kicked in the apartment door and confronted the man who lived there.

"I intended to hold it behind my back and knock. But I froze and instead, what happened happened," he told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

Contesting his neighbor's account, Van Iveren said he didn't look anywhere in the apartment except the front room, and that he never threatened the neighbor with the sword.

"I had the sword extended. But that was all," he said.

Van Iveren, who lives with his mother in the downstairs apartment, said he did not call police when he heard the noises because he does not have a telephone. He said he barely knew the upstairs tenant.

Police seized Van Iveren's sword, which he said was a family heirloom.

Man, I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me. Stupid neighbors.

Blogspot Upgrade

I finally bit the bullet and upgraded to the new blogspot software. It took me a while to figure out how to get the site looking somewhat like it used to. The good news is comments are working again. The bad news is all of the comments that were via halo scan are lost. I'm still working on updating the past posts to the new IP address that was caused by the ice storm that was caused by stupid global warming. I'm also adding labels to the posts. It should make the site easier to navigate. CYA !

Islamic Terrorist Squirrel Diverts Plane !

An American Airlines flight made an unscheduled landing after pilots heard something skittering about in the wire-laden space over the cockpit. The airline blamed the emergency landing of the Tokyo-Dallas flight with 202 passengers on a stowaway Muslim squirrel.

"You do not want a Muslim up in the wiring areas and what-have-you on an airplane. You don't want anything up there, especialy a damned Muslim squirrel !" said John Hotard, spokesman for the Fort Worth, Texas-based airline.

He said pilots feared the Muslim would chew through wiring or cause other problems.

"So, as a precaution, we diverted," Hotard said.

"He was merely conducting prayers !" exclaimed Sheikh Khalid Squirrel.

State and federal agriculture and wildlife officials boarded the plane, set traps and captured the middle-eastern gray squirrel. Fearing it may have been carrying rabies or a bomb, authorities had the Muslim killed.


He is now considered a martyr.

"We, by the grace of Allah, are seeking to exact revenge on behalf of Islam and Muslims from you ! Allah Akbar !" exclaimed Sheikh Khalid Squirrel.

Platypus Cacciatore

Platypus Cacciatore (A traditional Australian favourite.)

1 large platypus, cut into pieces
1 c onions, sliced
1/2 c green pepper, chopped
1/4 c oil
1 md garlic clove
1 lb plum tomatoes
1 tb parsley, chopped
1/2 ts oregano
1/4 ts thyme
3/4 ts salt
pepper, to taste
1/4 lb mushrooms, sliced

Heat oil in large skillet. Add platypus pieces, brown and set aside.

Add onion, green pepper and garlic. Cook until onion is tender. Force plum tomatoes through a strainer. Add tomato liquid, parsley, oregano, thyme, salt and pepper to skillet. Cook over low heat for 15 minutes stirring occasionally.

Add platypus; cover and cook over low heat 45 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add mushrooms and cook uncovered 15 minutes or until sauce is desired consistency.

Enjoy!


Found over at ethics forum: Recipes

B'owl !

Window Media Viewer (5.8 MB)

B'owl is perfect for...

Hey Buddy, Wanna Buy A Crazy Astronaut Diaper ?

Crazy Astronaut Diaper.


Found over at Paul Harris Online.

Hearing On Global Warming Cancelled Due To Ice Storm

HOUSE HEARING ON 'WARMING OF THE PLANET' CANCELED AFTER ICE STORM
HEARING NOTICE
Tue Feb 13 2007 19:31:25 ET

The Subcommittee on Energy and Air Quality hearing scheduled for Wednesday, February 14, 2007, at 10:00 a.m. in room 2123 Rayburn House Office Building has been postponed due to inclement weather. The hearing is entitled “Climate Change: Are Greenhouse Gas Emissions from Human Activities Contributing to a Warming of the Planet?”

The hearing will be rescheduled to a date and time to be announced later.

DC WEATHER REPORT:

Wednesday: Freezing rain in the morning. Total ice accumulation between one half to three quarters of an inch. Brisk with highs in the mid 30s. North winds 10 to 15 mph...increasing to northwest 20 to 25 mph in the afternoon. Chance of precipitation near 100 percent.

Wednesday Night: Partly cloudy. Lows around 18. Northwest winds around 20 mph.

Heh.

Six Explorers Suffocate In Canary Islands Tunnel.

If only there was some way of detecting toxic gases underground...

Stupid Global Warming

Well that stupid global warming dumped ice on us a couple of weeks ago and I was without power or heat for a week. Because of that I lost my IP address when I was finally able to reconnect. Thus none of the links to my images or media files are pointing to the right place. It will take me a while to update all of the content so please be patient.


(Stupid global warming)

I Think We'll All Always Remember...

The day Anna Nicole Smith died.


Found over at IMAO.

President Bush should declare a day of national mourning.